penalty was a switching (old style), and his
contemporaries were pleased to remind him of the fact. Five o'clock was
the hour fixed for the interview. The boy was small for his age, but
brainy. All day he studied how he might save his skin and disappoint his
friends, and at 4.30 he repaired stealthily to his dormitory to make his
plans. They consisted of a sheet of brown paper--all that remained,
alas, of a home-made cake--two copies of _The Scout_ and a chest
protector, which had been included in his outfit by a solicitious
parent. By means of the fatal fishing line he attached the combined
padding to his person, then, stiffly resuming his garments, knocked at
the dread portal as the clock struck.

The Head glanced down over his spectacles. The boy stood strangely
erect, and his face was brave though pale. A cane lay on the table. The
master's eye was sterner than his heart. His hand reached for the cane,
but he replaced it in a drawer, and for twenty minutes the listeners in
the corridor vainly pricked their ears for the accustomed sounds.

"Well?" they inquired anxiously when the victim reappeared.

"He only jawed me," replied the small boy; and he wept.

* * * * *

An "agony" in _The Daily Graphic_:

"Maud darling, did you see my last massage?... Ada."

No, ADA, but she heard about it. Stick to it and you'll soon be down to
twelve-stone-five again.

* * * * *

"In the Italian Chamber, on the 12th instant, there was only a
majority of Bill. It is believed that the Giolitti Cabinet is
tottering.--_Ostasiatischer Lloyd._"

_North China Herald._

Gulielmo's casting vote cannot save them every time.

* * * * *

"On his motor-trip he never met any cat travelling either without
lights after dusk or on the wrong side of the road."

_Ceylon Observer._

Our dogs may well learn a lesson from this.

* * * * *

"The bride carried a large bouquet of Harum lilies."--_South
Staffordshire Times._

This sort has two stalks, of course.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Mistress._ "WHY HAVE YOU PUT TWO HOT-WATER BOTTLES IN MY
BED, BRIDGET?"

_Bridget._ "SURE, MEM, WAN OF THIM WAS LEAKING, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH,
SO I PUT BOTH IN TO MAKE SURE."]

* * * * *

THE ODD MAN.

Jo