n competing
with artistes blessed with melodious appellations such as Bellincioni or
Sammarco.

Mr. BEN DAVIES observed that Welsh singers wore terribly hampered by the
poverty of their nomenclature. Two out of every three bore the surname
Davies, and at least one in three of our Welsh male soloists was
christened Ivor. Ivor was a good name in itself, but it was becoming
terribly hackneyed.

Mr. HENRY BIRD thought that all musicians should be at liberty to assume
names provided they were appropriate. But for a composer to call himself
Johann Sebastian Wagner was to court disaster. He ventured to submit the
following list for the benefit of persons who contemplated making the
change. For a soprano: Miss Hyam Seton. For a contralto: Miss Ritchie
Plummer. For a tenor: Mr. Uther Chesterton. For a bass: Mr. Deeping
Downer. For a pianist: Mr. or Miss Ivory Pounds. For a banjoist: Mr.
Plunkett Stringer.

Miss PHYLLIS LETT, in a brief speech, explained that her name was
all-British and had no connection whatever with Lithuania.

Ultimately, on the proposal of Lord HOWARD DE WALDEN, seconded by Mr.
JOSEF HOLBROOKE, a small committee was appointed, consisting of Sir
EDWARD ELGAR, Professor BANTOCK, Madame CLARA BUTT, Mr. BEN DAVIES and
Sir HENRY WOOD, to enquire into the different proposals, and the meeting
dispersed to the strains of "For he might have been a Rooshan."

* * * * *

[Illustration: A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCES.]

* * * * *

"The audience was divided into two sections; the Smith supporters
cheered every blow Wye landed as a point for their man, while Wye's
friends were equally enthusiastic on his behalf."--_Daily Mail._

With the SMITH supporters behind us, and a SMITH referee, we are
prepared to take on CARPENTIER.

* * * * *

[Illustration:_Mother._ "WELL, DARLING, DO YOU REMEMBER _ANYTHING_ THE
CLERGYMAN SAID?"

_Barbara._ "YES, MUMMY, I HEARD HIM SAY, 'HALF-PAST-SIX'!"]

* * * * *

"PUNCH" IN HIS ELEMENT.

(_Modelled on the Opening Chorus of "Atalanta in Calydon."_)

Once in so many calendar spaces
_Punch_, appearing on All Fools' Day,
Fills with giggles the hours and graces,
Causes the hares of March to stay;
And the soft sweet hatters along the Strand
Remember the dreams of Wonderland,
And the chessboard world and