first dental dawn of the heir of Applebite. "I have only
to refer you," said uncle John, "to the floor of the next room for the
response to my request--namely, that you will drain your glasses; and, in
the words of nephew Agamemnon Collumpsion Applebite, 'partake of our
dental delight.'" This eloquent address was followed by immense cheering
and a shower of sherry bottoms, which the gentlemen in their "entusymusy"
scattered around them as Hesperus is reported to dispense his tee-total
drops.

Nothing could be going on better--no woman could feel prouder than Mrs.
Waddledot, when--we hope you don't anticipate the catastrophe--when two of
the Argand lamps gave olfactory demonstrations of dissolution. Sperm oil
is a brilliant illuminator, but we never knew any one except an Esquimaux,
or a Russian, who preferred it to lavender-water as a perfume. Old John
was in a muddle of misery--evidently

[Illustration: LOOKING DOWN UPON HIS LUCK.--]

and was only relieved from his embarrassment by the following fortunate
occurrence:--

By-the-bye, we have just recollected that we have an invitation to dinner.
Reader--_au revoir_.

* * * * *

NEW WORKS NOW IN THE PRESS.

An Abstract and Brief Chronicle of the Times. Very small duodecimo. By Mr.
ROEBUCK.

A New Dissertation on the Anatomy of the Figures of the Multiplication
Table. By JOSEPH HUME.

Outlines of the Late Ministry, after _Ten Years_ (Teniers). By Lord
MELBOURNE.

Recollections of Place. By Lord JOHN RUSSELL.

Mythological Tract upon the Heathen Deity Cupid. By Lord PALMERSTON.

Explanatory Annotations on the Abstruse Works of the late Joseph (_vulgo_
Joe) Miller. With a humorous etching of his tombstone, and Original
Epitaph. By Colonel SIBTHORP.

Also, by the same Author, an Ornithological Treatise on the various
descriptions of Water-fowl; showing the difference between Russia and
other Ducks, and why the former are invariably sold in pairs.

A few words on Indefinite Subjects, supposed to be Sir Robert Peel's
Future Intentions. By Mr. WAKLEY.

* * * * *

AMERICAN CONGRESS.

We hasten to lay before our readers the following authentic reports of the
latest debates in the United States' Congress, which have been forwarded
to us by our peculiarly and especially exclusive Reporters.

_New York._--The greatest possible excitement exists here, agitating alike
the bosoms of the Whites, th