gull at his head and a shark at his tail. They're jist
about as much out of their reckoning as the pig that took to swimming for
his health and cut his throat trying it on.

"It's everlasting strange to me if, to all future posterity coming after
us, the word 'Macleod' don't shut up their jaws from bragging of British
valour just about as tight as the death-squeeze of a boa-constrictor round
a smashed-up buffalo!

"If it wa'n't for the distance and leaving my plantation, I'd go over with
any on you, and help to use up the lot myself! Let them 'come on,' as the
tiger said to the young kid, and see what 'I'll do for you.' They talk of
sending out their chaps here, do they; let them; they'll be just about as
happy as a toad in hot tar, and that's a fact." Here Jonathan J. Twang sat
down amid immense cheers; at the conclusion of which, Mr. Peter P.
Pellican, from the back-woods, requested--he, Peter P. Pellican, being
from _Orleans_--that Mr. Jonathan J. Twang would retract certain words
derogatory to the state represented by Peter P. Pellican. Mr. Jonathan J.
Twang replied in the following determined refusal:--"I beg to inform the
last speaker, Mr. Peter P. Pellican, from the back-woods, that I'll see
him tee-totatiously tarred, feathered, and physicked with red-hot oil and
fish-hooks, before I'll retract one eternal syllable of my pretty
particular correct assertions."

This announcement created considerable confusion. The President behaved in
the most impartial and manly manner, indiscriminately knocking down all
such of both parties who came within reach of his mace, and not leaving
the chair until he had received two black eyes and lost two front teeth.
The general _melee_ was carried on with immense spirit; the more violent
members on either side pummelling each other with the most hearty and
legislative determination. This exciting scene was continued for some
time, until during a short cessation a member with a broken leg proposed
an adjournment till the following day, when the further discussion could
be carried on with Bowie-knives and pistols; this proposition was at once
acceded to with immense delight by all parties. If well enough (as I have
two broken ribs, my share of the row) I will forward you an authentic
statement of this interesting proceeding.

* * * * *

EPITAPH ON A CANDLE.

A _wicked_ one lies buried here,
Who died in a _decline_;
He never rose in rank