O'Rapley found that any attempt to convey instruction was useless, so
he said:--

"Joking apart, Mr. Bumpkin, you see that man sitting over there with the
wideawake hat?"

"D'ye mane near the noase o' the ship?"

"Well, the nose if you like."

"I zee un--chap wi' red faace, blue 'ankercher, and white spots?"

"That's the man. Well, now, you'd never guess who he is?"

Mr. Bumpkin certainly would have been a sharp man if he could.

"Well," continued the Don, "that man gets his living by bringing actions.
No matter who it is or what, out comes the writ and down he comes for
damages."

"Hem! that be rum, too, bean't it?"

"Yes, he's always looking out for accidents; if he hears o' one, down he
comes with his pocket-book, gets 'old o' some chap that's injured, or
thinks he is, and out comes the writ."

"What be he then?"

"A scamp--works in the name of some broken-down attorney, and pays him
for the use of it."

"So he can work the lor like wirout being a loryer?"

"That's it--and, lor' bless you, he's got such a way with him that if he
was to come and talk to you for five minutes, he'd have a writ out
against you in the morning."

"Ain't it rayther cold at this eend o' the booat," asked Mr. Bumpkin, "I
feel a little chilly loike."

"No," said the Don, "we just caught the wind at that corner, that was
all."

But Mr. Bumpkin kept his eye on the artful man, with a full determination
to "have no truck wi' un."

"As I was saying, this Ananias never misses a chance: he's on the
look-out at this moment; if they was to push that gangway against his
toe, down he'd go and be laid up with an injured spine and concussion of
the brain, till he got damages from the company."

"Must be a reg'ler rogue, I allows; I should like to push un overboard."

"Just what he would like; he isn't born to be drowned, that man; he'd
soon have a writ out against you. There was a railway accident once
miles away in the country; ever so many people were injured and some of
'em killed. Well, down he goes to see if he could get hold of
anybody--no, nobody would have him--so what does he do but bring an
action himself."

"What for?"

"Why, just the same as if he'd been in the accident."

"Ought to be hanged."

"Well, the doctors were very pleased to find that no bones were broken,
and, although there were no bruises, they discovered that there were
internal injuries: the spine was wrong, and there was concussion of the
brai