w refuse anything
he could get. [He puts the goblet on the table; then turns again to
Edstaston.] Listen, darling. You are a wrestler: a splendid wrestler.
You threw me on my back like magic, though I could lift you with one
hand. Darling, you are a giant, a paladin.

EDSTASTON [complacently]. We wrestle rather well in my part of England.

PATIOMKIN. I have a Turk who is a wrestler: a prisoner of war. You shall
wrestle with him for me. I'll stake a million roubles on you.

EDSTASTON [incensed]. Damn you! do you take me for a prize-fighter? How
dare you make me such a proposal?

PATIOMKIN [with wounded feeling]. Darling, there is no pleasing you.
Don't you like me?

EDSTASTON [mollified]. Well, in a sort of way I do; though I don't know
why I should. But my instructions are that I am to see the Empress;
and--

PATIOMKIN. Darling, you shall see the Empress. A glorious woman, the
greatest woman in the world. But lemme give you piece 'vice--pah! still
drunk. They water my vinegar. [He shakes himself; clears his throat;
and resumes soberly.] If Catherine takes a fancy to you, you may ask for
roubles, diamonds, palaces, titles, orders, anything! and you may aspire
to everything: field-marshal, admiral, minister, what you please--except
Tsar.

EDSTASTON. I tell you I don't want to ask for anything. Do you suppose I
am an adventurer and a beggar?

PATIOMKIN [plaintively]. Why not, darling? I was an adventurer. I was a
beggar.

EDSTASTON. Oh, you!

PATIOMKIN. Well: what's wrong with me?

EDSTASTON. You are a Russian. That's different.

PATIOMKIN [effusively]. Darling, I am a man; and you are a man; and
Catherine is a woman. Woman reduces us all to the common denominator.
[Chuckling.] Again an epigram! [Gravely.] You understand it, I hope.
Have you had a college education, darling? I have.

EDSTASTON. Certainly. I am a Bachelor of Arts.

PATIOMKIN. It is enough that you are a bachelor, darling: Catherine will
supply the arts. Aha! Another epigram! I am in the vein today.

EDSTASTON [embarrassed and a little offended]. I must ask your Highness
to change the subject. As a visitor in Russia, I am the guest of the
Empress; and I must tell you plainly that I have neither the right nor
the disposition to speak lightly of her Majesty.

PATIOMKIN. You have conscientious scruples?

EDSTASTON. I have the scruples of a gentleman.

PATIOMKIN. In Russia a gentleman has no scruples. In Russia we face
facts.

EDSTASTON