Mother, a stranger.

Catherine plunges into bed again and covers herself up. Patiomkin,
followed by Varinka, carries Edstaston in: dumps him down on the foot
of the bed: and staggers past it to the cabinet door. Varinka joins
the courtiers at the opposite side of the room. Catherine, blazing with
wrath, pushes Edstaston off her bed on to the floor: gets out of bed:
and turns on Patiomkin with so terrible an expression that all kneel
down hastily except Edstaston, who is sprawling on the carpet in angry
confusion.

CATHERINE. Patiomkin, how dare you? [Looking at Edstaston.] What is
this?

PATIOMKIN [on his knees, tearfully]. I don't know. I am drunk. What is
this, Varinka?

EDSTASTON [scrambling to his feet]. Madam, this drunken ruffian--

PATIOMKIN. Thas true. Drungn ruffian. Took dvantage of my being drunk.
Said: take me to Lil angel Mother. Take me to beaufl Empress. Take me
to the grea'st woman on earth. Thas whas he he said. I took him. I was
wrong. I am not sober.

CATHERINE. Men have grown sober in Siberia for less, Prince.

PATIOMKIN. Serve em right! Sgusting habit. Ask Varinka.

Catherine turns her face from him to the Court. The courtiers see that
she is trying not to laugh, and know by experience that she will not
succeed. They rise, relieved and grinning.

VARINKA. It is true. He drinks like a pig.

PATIOMKIN [plaintively]. No: not like pig. Like prince. Lil Mother made
poor Patiomkin prince. Whas use being prince if I mayn't drink?

CATHERINE [biting her lips]. Go. I am offended.

PATIOMKIN. Don't scold, Lil Mother.

CATHERINE [imperiously]. Go.

PATIOMKIN [rising unsteadily]. Yes: go. Go bye bye. Very sleepy. Berr go
bye bye than go Siberia. Go bye bye in Lil Mother's bed [he pretends to
make an attempt to get into the bed].

CATHERINE [energetically pulling him back]. No, no! Patiomkin! What
are you thinking of? [He falls like a log on the floor, apparently dead
drunk.]

THE PRINCESS DASHKOFF. Scandalous! An insult to your Imperial Majesty!

CATHERINE. Dashkoff: you have no sense of humor. [She steps down to the
door level and looks indulgently at Patiomkin. He gurgles brutishly. She
has an impulse of disgust.] Hog. [She kicks him as hard as she can.] Oh!
You have broken my toe. Brute. Beast. Dashkoff is quite right. Do you
hear?

PATIOMKIN. If you ask my pi-pinion of Dashkoff, my pipinion is that
Dashkoff is drunk. Scanlous. Poor Patiomkin go bye bye. [He relapses
into drunken slu