o reassure me
they said that Nurse must have covered her head with her apron on
purpose to frighten me. Victoire, however, when questioned,
declared she had not left the kitchen--besides, the truth was too
deeply impressed on my mind: I had seen a man, and that man was
exactly like my Father. We all went to look behind the clump of
trees, and, finding nothing, my sisters told me to think no more
about it. Ah, that was not in my power! Often and often my
imagination brought before me this mysterious vision, often and
often I tried to raise the veil which hid its true meaning, and
deep down in my heart I had a conviction that some day it would be
fully revealed to me. And you know all, dear Mother. You know that
it was really my Father whom God showed me, bent by age, and
bearing on his venerable face and his white head the symbol of his
terrible trial.[4]

As the Adorable Face of Jesus was veiled during His Passion, so it
was fitting that the face of His humble servant should be veiled
during the days of his humiliation, in order that it might shine
with greater brilliancy in Heaven. How I admire God's ways! He
showed us this precious cross beforehand, as a father shows his
children the glorious future he is preparing for them--a future
which will bring them an inheritance of priceless treasures.

But a thought comes into my mind: "Why did God give this light to
a child who, if she had understood it, would have died of grief?"
"Why?" Here is one of those incomprehensible mysteries which we
shall only understand in Heaven, where they will be the subject of
our eternal admiration. My God, how good Thou art! How well dost
Thou suit the trial to our strength!

At that time I had not courage even to think that Papa could die,
without being terrified. One day he was standing on a high
step-ladder, and as I was close by he called out: "Move away,
little Queen; if I fall I shall crush you." Instantly I felt an
inward shock, and, going still nearer to the ladder, I thought:
"At least if Papa falls I shall not have the pain of seeing him
die, for I shall die with him." I could never say how much I loved
him. I admired everything he did. When he explained his ideas on
serious matters, as if I were a big girl, I answered him naively:
"It is quite certain, Papa, that if you spoke like that to the
great men who govern the country they would take you and make you
King. Then France would be happier than it was ever been; but you
w