ad nothing to talk to him about. He is out in the world and
meets people and does things. I was in a little backwater and lost the
habit of thinking about the same things that are on his mind. I had to
go back to work to regain the same atmosphere and to be a companion."
"But," I said, "you have to pay some one to take care of the children.
"Wouldn't it be cheaper to do it yourself?"
"Far cheaper," she said, "but even the children are better off. Now,
when I come home, I am full of interests I can share with them, and I am
nowhere nearly so impatient as I used to be when I answered their
questions all day long and directed every minute of their lives. I do
not mind now saying, 'Johnny, wash your hands,' or, 'Sara, don't bite
when you fight.' I have to do it only between 6 and 8 P.M. But if I do
it from 6 A.M. until 8 P.M., many a harsh word is spoken, and
many a hasty gesture passes between us, much to my regret afterward."
One thing is certain: Any woman who decides to work after she is married
must have good health and be a fairly well-disciplined person, and her
life must be systematized so that one part does not interfere with the
other, and the man must understand and sympathize with her interests and
desires.
The man's temperament is as important as the woman's, for there are men
who deeply resent their wives' doing any work and who want to feel that
their home is entirely dependent on their own efforts. There are other
men who go even beyond that and want to feel that the woman whom they
have married is dependent upon them for all she has in a material way,
forgetting often that their mental and spiritual contacts count also in
any relationship. Then again there are men who, if their wives are
self-sufficient and capable, will do exactly what so many women are
accused of doing--become parasites and willingly allow themselves to be
taken care of in every way, even in a material way.
I knew one man whose wife mothered him until he completely lost his
initiative. He was sweet to her, but he really felt that life was made
by her and he had to make no effort. Suddenly he met a woman who was
weaker and more clinging than he was, and she awakened in him all his
dormant chivalrous instincts. He asked his wife for a divorce. He
married the weaker woman and became a strong man. The first wife remade
her life, which was not astonishing; but he remade his, which seemed
unbelievable.
All the things I have mentione
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