out some of the practical steps
which can be taken by couples who do have fallings out, to eliminate
friction, to keep love alive, and to discover the deeper and wider
happiness which might be theirs.

_Five Ways To Go_

No matter what crisis one confronts in life, there are the following
five possible ways of reacting:

_1. One may acquiesce ignobly._ That means to give in weakly, to "take
it lying down," as the boys say. If one is disappointed in one's wife or
one's husband, if one's sex life in marriage is a failure, if one's
in-laws intrude disastrously, if one's mate follows loves outside of
marriage, or if any other catastrophe overtakes one's home, one can give
way to hopeless lamentation and self-pity: "There's nothing I can do
about it. It's just a rotten world. Nobody ever gives me a decent
chance. I suppose I've got to live along and pretend I don't care. Poor
me!"

_2. One may evade cravenly._ That means to run away like a coward. Many
divorces are simply a blind and frantic attempt to escape from
suffering. Some divorces, of course, are the best possible solution of a
bad situation. But quite often the persons seeking the divorce are
really trying to run away from themselves. They have never learned how
to live in friendly happiness with other people. If they marry again,
they will promptly find themselves in new suffering because they have
never solved the basic problems of their own personalities. Sometimes
the cowardly evasion is mental instead of physical. The husband or wife
retires into a private world and puts up an icy barrier against the
partner. In any case this type of solution is a blind attempt to run
away from the problem instead of facing it bravely, trying to understand
it, and seeking the wisest and best solution possible.

_3. One may attack vindictively._ Most husbands and wives who are
skidding toward divorce have convinced themselves that their marriage
partners are villains. "This person I married is to blame. He is
selfish, heartless, cruel, disloyal, lazy, and nasty. He has hurt me
terribly, but I'll get even. I'm going to make him suffer the way he's
made me suffer. I'll show him that he can't do that to me!"

_4. One may grapple courageously._ This means to look the situation
squarely in the face, to study it calmly, open-mindedly, and thoroughly.
It means to discover the real causes for the disaster, to take an
inventory of all the possible resources, and then deliberate