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Project Gutenberg's The Inventions of the Idiot, by John Kendrick Bangs This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net Title: The Inventions of the Idiot Author: John Kendrick Bangs Release Date: September 3, 2010 [EBook #33623] Language: English Character set encoding: ASCII *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE INVENTIONS OF THE IDIOT *** Produced by Clarity, Suzanne Shell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries) TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: Apart from a few punctuation corrections, no other changes have been made in the text. THE INVENTIONS OF THE IDIOT by JOHN KENDRICK BANGS Author of "A House-Boat on the Styx" "The Pursuit of the House-Boat" "Olympian Nights" Etc. Etc. New York and London Harper & Brothers Publishers 1904 Copyright, 1903, by HARPER & BROTHERS. _All rights reserved._ Published April, 1904 TO YOU Contents CHAPTER PAGE I. THE CULINARY GUILD 1 II. A SUGGESTION FOR THE CABLE-CARS 16 III. THE TRANSATLANTIC TROLLEY COMPANY 31 IV. THE INCORPORATION OF THE IDIOT 47 V. UNIVERSITY EXTENSION 64 VI. SOCIAL EXPANSION 79 VII. A BEGGAR'S HAND-BOOK 96 VIII. PROGRESSIVE WAFFLES 112 IX. A CLEARING-HOUSE FOR POETS 127 X. SOME ELECTRICAL SUGGESTIONS 142 XI. CONCERNING CHILDREN 158 XII. DREAMALINE 172 THE INVENTIONS OF THE IDIOT I The Culinary Guild It was before the Idiot's marriage, and in the days when he
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