al Suggestions

"If I were beginning life all over again," said the Idiot, "I'd be an
electrician. It seems to me that of all modern pursuits, barring
architecture perhaps, electricity is the most fascinating."

"There's probably more money in it than there is in Idiocy, too, I
fancy," said the Bibliomaniac, dryly.

"Well, I should think so," assented the Idiot. "Idiocy is merely an
intellectual diversion. Electricity is a practical science. Idiocy
cannot be said to be anything more than a luxury, while electricity has
become a necessity. I do not even claim that any real lasting benefit
can come to the world through Idiocy, but in electricity are
possibilities, not yet realized, for which the world will be distinctly
better and happier."

"It is kind of you to speak so highly of electricity," said the Doctor.
"The science may now advance, knowing that you approve."

"Approve?" cried the Idiot. "Approve is not the word, sir. I
enthuse--and why should I not, feeling, as I do, that in the electrical
current lies the germ of the Elixir of Life! I thoroughly believe that a
bottle of liquefied electricity would make us all young."

"Then don't take it!" said the School-master. "You have suffered from an
aggravated case of youngness for as long a time as I have known you.
Pray do nothing to intensify your youth."

"I fear I shall be forced to deny myself that pleasure, Mr. Pedagog,"
returned the Idiot, mildly, "for the unhappy reason that as yet the
formula for the Electrical Elixir has not been discovered; that it will
be discovered before I die I hope and pray, because, unlike the man in
the hymn, I would live always. I'd like to be an immortal."

"An immortal Idiot! Think of it!" said the Doctor.

"I didn't expect much sympathy from you, Dr. Capsule," said the Idiot.
"The man with car-horses to sell does not dote upon the trolley-car."

"The application of the allegory is not entirely apparent," said the
Doctor.

"No?" said the Idiot. "I am surprised. I thought you intellectuals
absorbed ideas more quickly. To deal in plain terms, since it appears to
be necessary, a plan which involves the indefinite extension of mortal
life and the elimination of bodily ills is not likely to receive the
hearty endorsement of the medical profession. If a man could come home
on a stormy night and offset the deleterious effects of wet feet by
swallowing an electric pill, one containing two volts, like a two-grain
quinine pill,