re not
clearly defined at the outset. When Mary brings in a steaming platter
full of these delicious creations of the cook, Mr. Pedagog has quite as
much right to the one with the six of hearts on it as I have, but I get
it. He does not. Hence he is irritated, although he does not know it. So
with Mr. Whitechoker. Five minutes ago he was hastening through the four
of spades in order that he might come into possession of the ten of
diamonds that lay smoking before him. As he was about to put the last
spade in his mouth I requested him to hand me the ten of diamonds,
having myself gulped down the deuce of clubs to get ahead of him. He
couldn't decline to give me that waffle because he wanted it himself. He
had to give it to me. He was irritated--though he did not know it. He
sighed and gave me the waffle."

"I did want it," said Mr. Whitechoker. "But I did not know that I
sighed."

"There you are," said the Idiot. "It is the Philosophy of the
Unconscious again. If you are not conscious of so actual a thing as a
sigh, how much the more unconscious must you be of something so subtle
as motive?"

"And your waffle-deck?" said the Genial Old Gentleman who occasionally
imbibes. "How will that solve the problem? It seems to me to complicate
the problem. As it is, we have about thirty waffles, each one of which
is a germ of irritation in the breast of the man who _doesn't_ eat it.
If you have fifty-two waffles you have twenty-two more germs to sow
discord in our midst."

"You would have but for my scheme," said the Idiot. "I'd have a pack of
cards at the table, and I'd deal them out just as you do in whist. Each
card would represent the corresponding waffle. We'd begin breakfast by
playing one hand after the manner of whist. Each man would keep his
tricks, and when the waffles were served he would receive those, and
those only, represented by the cards in the tricks he had taken. If you
took a trick with the king of diamonds in it, you'd get the waffle with
the king of diamonds on it, and so on. Every man would be clearly
entitled through his skill in the game to the waffles that he ate."

"Very good," said Mr. Whitechoker. "But suppose you had bad luck and
took no tricks?"

"Then," said the Idiot, "you'd have bad luck and get no waffles."

"Tutt!" said Mr. Pedagog.

And that was the sole criticism any of the boarders had to make,
although there is reason to believe that the scheme had objectionable
features to the maj