are not wanted _thin_, you know."

It's an artful move, my MARY, but, it stroikes me, a bit thin,
And it won't come home consolin', to "the poor ov Adam's kin."
Faix! they won't stop 'cabin passengers,' big-wigs, an' British Peerage,
But--_they don't want the poor devils that crowd over in the steerage_!

So Oi'm sittin' on the stile, MARY, and there Oi'll loikely sthop,
For they don't require poor PADDY in their big new CHANDLER'S Shop.
Uncle SAM'S some punkins, MARY, but he's not a great green goose;
An' he's goin' to sthop a braggin' ov that latch-string always loose!

* * * * *

MIXED NOTIONS--NO. IV. EGYPT.

_Two_ Well-Informed Men, _an_ Inquirer, _and an_ Average Man, _in
suburban morning train to London_.

_First Well-Informed Man_ (_reading his paper_). Oh, I say, dash it,
this'll never do. Here's this young KHEDIVE of Egypt kicking up a shine,
and dismissing British Ministers. We can't have that, you know.

_Inquirer._ What Ministers has he dismissed?

_First W. I. M._ Why, British Ministers,--at least (_reading on_) I mean
Egyptian Ministers; that's to say, chaps whom we appointed.

_Second W. I. M._ Come, come, we couldn't appoint Egyptian Ministers,
could we?

_First W. I. M._ Oh, it comes to exactly the same thing; they're
appointed subject to our proviso (_consulting paper_), yes, subject to
our veto, and then this little whipper-snapper goes and gives them the
chuck. He'll jolly soon have to climb down off that.

_Average Man._ Gently! The young chap's King, after all, isn't he? I
thought Kings might appoint or dismiss Ministers as they liked.

_First W. I. M._ Oh, rot! The QUEEN can't appoint her own Ministers. We
all know that. They're appointed by the Prime Minister. Any fool knows
that.

_Inquirer._ But who appoints the Prime Minister?

_First W. I. M._ He appoints himself, and tells the QUEEN he's done it.
They all go and kiss hands and get their seals, or something of that
sort.

_Inquirer._ Of course, of course. I forgot that. But how about these
Egyptian beggars?

_First W. I. M._ The KHEDIVE'S had the cheek to dismiss the Ministry, and
shove another lot in. I see Lord CROMER has been to the Palace to
protest.

_Inquirer._ Lord CROMER! Who's he?

_First W. I. M._ My dear fellow, fancy not knowing that! Lord CROMER'S
our Ambassador at Cairo.

_Second W. I. M._ Oh, nonsense. There are no ambassadors at Cairo.

_First W