DEARTH OF DANCING-MEN.

My JULIA has been unusually fortunate this evening. She has only had to
sit out thirteen dances, and has already been given half a polka by Mr.
LAYSIBOHNS, who, however, seemed too tired to finish it. Her view is,
that "half a loafer is better than no dance."

[Illustration]

In order to get men, we have been obliged to invite the gentlemanly
crossing-sweeper at the end of our road, two hawkers who sell blocks of
wood in the street, a respectable coal-heaver, and our green-grocer's
assistant. They have each had half-a-dozen dancing lessons (at our
expense), and are to be paid a guinea a-piece, on condition that they
dance at least six dances before going down to supper.

Our boy BOB, who is always trying to be funny, says he is afraid engaging
these people will turn put a "valse step."

It certainly is rather slow for the Girls who have not had a partner all
the evening. Still, I did _not_ expect them to bring pencils and paper
with them, and play games of "consequences" in the billiard-room.

Since Gentlemen have taken to sharing a dance among several Ladies, they
have become very conceited. My EMILY is congratulating herself that she
has secured one undivided sixteenth part of the next Lancers with that
dear Mr. WYNN INGWAYS.

A good part of Mr. MASHER'S income is, it is said, derived from the fact
that Mothers, sooner than see their Girls sit idle all the evening, are
willing to allow him a handsome commission on suitable introductions.

BOB has asked JULIA a riddle, which is--"What is the difference between a
game of whist and a ball-room?" The answer seems to be, that in whist you
cut for partners, but, in a ball-room, possible partners cut you.

It is quite true that we have decided to emigrate to North-West Colorado,
as my Girls say they will have far more chance of partners in a country
where the "surplus population" consists entirely of males.

* * * * *

[Illustration: TROP DE ZELE.

_Hostess._ "WHY ARE SOME OF THE LIQUEUR GLASSES _EMPTY_, KATHLEEN?"

_The New Parlour Maid._ "IF YOU PLEASE, MY LADY, THEY'RE FOR THIM AS
DON'T TAKE ANY LIQUEUR!"]

* * * * *

MARGARINA.

A BACK-STREET BALLAD.

AIR--"_Margarita._"

I passed along a dim back-street, Margarina!
In search of something good to eat, Margarina!
O pallid tripe! O "faggots" queer!
Was ever such strange human cheer?
And O my hea