the Bulgarian atrocities, the
Russo-Turkish war, what Count BEUST said to MCCULLAGH, and how, in debate
on the Vote of Six Millions, "a Right Hon. friend who sat next to me
urged me to add a few words to what had been better said by others in
this sense." Better said! Oh, MCCULLAGH! Oh, TORRENS! There is an ancient
story of an old gentleman who had a treasured anecdote connected with the
going off of a gun. When he could not drag it in otherwise, he was wont
to furtively lift his foot and kick the table. "Hallo, what's that?" he
cried. "Sounds like a gun; that reminds me"--and then the story. Thus Mr.
TORRENS drags in successive Parliamentary episodes through twenty
years--the Disestablishment of the Church, the Charity Commission, State
Aid to Emigrants, School Board for London, Extradition, Artisans'
Dwellings; gives a not very clear summary of events leading up to each,
and then treats the entranced reader to the heads of the speech he
delivered. The book would have been more accurately entitled had it been
called _Twenty Years of McCullagh Torrens_, and old Members of the House
of Commons will agree that this is a little too much.

BARON DE BOOK-WORMS & CO.

* * * * *

The Three.

Some hold it a terrible fault of omission
That Parsons sit not on the Poor-Law Commission.
Alas! Hope would smile, but she finds it a rarity
For "Faith" not to hamper the freedom of Charity.
The world will look bright when we find in high places
A perfect accord 'twixt the Three Christian Graces!

* * * * *

THE FIRST BAL MASQUE OF THE SEASON.--Big success. Greater crowd there
than when these entertainments came to an end at the beginning of last
year. All sorts of disguises were permitted, but it is said that two
_viveurs_ who came late, disguised in liquor, were denied entrance. The
Snow Man found it very hot, and melted. Prizes were to be given away. But
there was one prize, an elegant lady, closely masked and hooded, whose
identity remained a puzzle to everybody. At last "she gave herself away."
The happy recipient congratulated himself on winning the prize.

* * * * *

NEXT, PLEASE!--Suggested subject for the next Newspaper Controversy:--"Is
ROBERT BUCHANAN played out?"

* * * * *

"RENT REDUCTIONS" can generally be satisfactorily made _pro tem._ with a
needle and thread.

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