schief.

_First W. I. M._ Quite true; but they'll find we're going to sit tight in
spite of them, so the sooner they cart themselves and their blessed old
Pyramids out of the country the better.

_Inquirer._ Why should they take the Pyramids?

_First W. I. M._ Well, they built 'em, so I suppose they've got a right
to do what they like with them.

_Inquirer._ Of course. [_Terminus._

* * * * *

[Illustration: "H.M.S. 'TOKO.'"

_Nurse Britannia._ "ALLOW ME TO INFORM YOUR HIGHNESS HERE COMES A BOX OF
SOLDIERS YOU _MUSTN'T_ PLAY WITH."]

* * * * *

_The Red Spider_, by BARING GOULD, is to be dramatised. What a chance
this would have been for the "Brothers WEBB," were they still in
stage-land.

* * * * *

SOLE SURVIVORS.--The uppers of a Tramp's highlows.

* * * * *

SHARP FIGHTING AT RANGOON.--We hope soon to hear that the Kachins are
Kachin' it hot.

* * * * *

ADVICE TO THOSE "UP A GUM TREE" (_by "Non Possum_").--Come down as
quickly as you can, and don't stick there.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A LESSON IN FRENCH.

_Fraeulein Schnips_ (_who does not devote as much attention to the Toilet
as she does to Study, addresses Master Edward who has been made to join
in his Sister's lessons during his holidays_). "EDFARD, FOT IS 'I VASH MY
HANDS' IN FRENCH?"

_Master Edward_ (_sulkily_). "JE ME LAVE LES MAINS."

_F. S._ "NOW DEN. 'I DO NOT VASH MY HANDS.' GU'EST-CE GUE C'EST GUE CA?"

_Master Edward_ (_seizing his opportunity_). "EH BIEN, C'EST UNE HABITUDE
SALE, DONT VOUS DEVRIEZ AVOIR HONTE!"]

* * * * *

"SOME DAY!"

(_Latest Egyptian Version of Milton Welling's popular Song._)

Mr. BULL _to_ Miss EGYPT, _sings_:--

I know not when the day shall be,
I know not when we two shall part;
What farewell you will give to me,
Or will your words be sweet or tart?
It may not be till years have passed,
Till France grows calm, young ABBAS grey;
But I am pledged--so, love, at last,
Our hands, our hearts must part--_some day_!
Some day, some day,
Some day I shall leave you!
Love, I know not when or how,
(So I can but vaguely vow)
Only this, only this,
(Which I trust won't grieve you),
Only this--I