RIPTION
TO YOUR CRICKET-GROUND ANY LONGER--FOR I FIND YOU ALLOW IT TO BE USED IN
THE WINTER FOR PIGEON-SHOOTING!"

_Secretary to the Local Cricket Club._ "BUT, MADAM, YOU CAN'T BE AWARE THAT
WE SHOOT AT NOTHING BUT _CLAY PIGEONS!_"

_B. O. L._ "I DON'T CARE _WHAT_ THE BREED MAY BE--IT'S EQUALLY CRUEL!"]

* * * * *

THE ARMADA FROM THE SPANISH.

(_Commenced by Mr. J.A. Froude and concluded by the Duke of Medina
Sidonia._)

It may be remembered that the English writer in _Longman's Magazine_, had
got to the point when after trying to get out of the expedition by pleading
poverty, incompetency, and anything else I could think of, I was forced to
go on my way to England with apparent satisfaction. We had putrid pork and
mouldy biscuit, but still I informed the King that we were "content and
cheerful." Had I given him any other intelligence, the chances are that he
would have had my head--not a good one, but sufficient to meet my modest
requirements.

Well, we sailed towards England, and as Mr. J.A. FROUDE has already
explained (quoting from my own letter to King PHILIP), "knowing nothing of
navigation," I soon made a bad shot. Instead of going to Tilbury, I drifted
towards Cronstadt, even then a fortress of some consideration. I could tell
you a great deal more, were it not that I succumbed to sea-sickness and
gave up my command. The expedition was now, of course, commanded by the
steward, but the duties of his unpleasant office left him but little time
for directing an invasion. Well, we got within reach of England when the
wind began to blow, and before I could hitch myself up with a
marling-spike, every man Jack of us was ready for Davy Jones's locker!

But why should I dwell upon the events of the next few days? We were
out-manoeuvred and beaten. I myself took refuge in a wood of mahogany
trees, and it was my delight and my privilege to supply the requirements of
the British colony in all that they desired. The result of this was that I
and a few personal friends took refuge in a forest in which mahogany trees
flourished. It was in this leafy prison that I supplied the genuine old
Armada mahogany "as advertised." I would be afraid to say how many places I
supplied with wood from the Armada. I may hint that I know something of the
tables at Westminster and the benches of Gray's Inn. But there, that is
many years ago, and all I can say now is, "Heave away, boys," and "Three
cheers