for the Don, the Keys, and the Donkey." I was the Don, the keys were
supplied to those who paid for them, and the donkeys could defend
themselves. The Armada was not a success, and after this frank avowal, it
seems to me that Mr. FROUDE need render no further explanation. Surely the
story of the Spanish Invasion is copyright. And if it is, Mr. FROUDE has no
right to tamper with my work, the more especially as it is immediately
appropriated by that model of modern journalism the _Review of Reviews_.

* * * * *

PHILOSOPHICAL REFLECTION.--We have five senses. That's quite enough. If we
had a sixth sense, what a _new sense_ it would be!

* * * * *

"IN CELLAR DEEP."

(_Latest Up-to-Date Version of a celebrated Bacchanalian ditty, as
it might be revised by Dr. Mortimer Granville and Mr. James
Payn._)

["No one drinks alcoholic liquor (unless it be beer) to quench
thirst."--JAMES PAYN.]

In Cellar deep I sit and steep
My soul in GRANVILLE'S logic.
Companions mine, sound ale, good wine--
_That_ foils Teetotal dodge--hic!
With solemn pate our sages prate,
The Pump-slaves neatly pinking.
He's proved an ass, whose days _don't_ pass
In drinking, drinking, drinking!

In water pure there's danger sure,
All fizzle-pop's deceiving;
And ginger-beer must make you queer
(If GRANVILLE you're believing).
Safe, on the whole, is Alcohol;
It saves man's strength from sinking.
I injure none, and have good f--fun.
Whilst drinking, drinking, drinking!

Hic! Hic! Hooray!! New reasons gay
For drink from doctors borrow!
The last (_not_ first) is simple thirst,
Thatsh true--to LAWSON'S sorrow!
Good Templarsh fain would "physic PAYN,"
And GRANVILLE squelch like winking;
But all the same, true Wisdom's--hic--game
Is drinking, drinking, drinking!

[_Left playing it._

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S NAVAL NOVEL.

[_Mr. Punch_ has observed with much gratification the success of
various _brochures_ professing to give, under the disguise of
retrospect, a prophetic but accurate account of the naval battle
of the immediate future. _Mr. Punch_ has read them carefully over
and over again. For some time he has been living, so to speak, in
the midst of magnificent iron-clad fleets. In vain have torpedoes
been launched on their o