lack! we are thinking of two personages sundered by centuries. My mind
dwells on CHARLEMAGNE, whilst WILLIAM is evidently thinking of Champagne
CHARLIE.

* * * * *

"ANNALS OF A VERY QUIET FAMILY."

There were eight of us, each within a year or so of one another.

Father was a very quiet man, engaged all day in his study.

Mother was equally quiet.

Father would never allow a trumpet, drum, or any instrument of torture,
except the piano, to be brought into the house.

Mother quietly saw his orders carried out.

In due course we all left home one after the other, and having been so
quiet for so long, each one of us has contrived to make a considerable
noise in the world since, and are all doing well. "Doing" may be used in
the widest possible sense. Among other accomplishments we blow our own
trumpets, as you see. As father and mother object to noise, we have not
encouraged their visits.

* * * * *

[Illustration: DEA EX MACHINA!

(_A Reminiscence._)]

* * * * *

"AS _HE_'D LIKE IT."

(_Shakspeare once more freely adapted to the situation._)

["We wanted, and we want, to do for the villages,
what the first reformed Parliament did in conferring
municipal government upon the towns. We knew
that the Tory Party did not really mean to give
us village or parish Councils.... 'The Radical
agitators,' says Sir MICHAEL HICKS-BEACH, 'want
to see a complete change in the social condition of
rural society.' What if we do?... Why, it was
for this that many of us, seven or eight years ago,
and many more years ago, fought for getting the
labourer a vote."--_Mr. John Morley at Cambridge._]

SCENE--_The Forest of Ha_(_w_)_arden._

_Touchstone_ (Mr. J-HN M-RL-Y); _Audrey_, (The Agricultural Vote); _Jaques_
(Mr. P-NCH), behind. Afterwards _William_ (Sir M-CH-L H-CKS-B-CH.)

_Touch._ Come apace, good AUDREY: I will fetch up your votes, AUDREY. And
how, AUDREY?--am I the man yet? Doth my simple programme content you?

_Audrey._ Your programme! Lord warrant us, what programme?

_Touch._ I am here with thee and thy Votes as the glittering poet-god
Apollo was among the herds of Admetus.

_Jaq._ (_aside_). Oh, knowledge oddly applied! Fancy Olympian Oracles in a
thatched cottage!

_Touch._ When a man's speeches cannot be understood, nor a man's good
platform wit seconded by the frow