Ah, the dear old _Bandersnatch!_ Never can I forget
the thrill of exquisite emotion which pervaded my inmost being as I stepped
on board in mid-ocean. Everything was in apple-pie order. Bulkheads,
girders, and beams shone like glass in the noonday sun. The agile
torpedo-catchers had been practising their sports, and I could not resist a
feeling of intense pride when I learnt that only fifty of these heroic
fellows had that morning perished owing to the accidental explosion of one
of their charming playthings at the very crisis of the game. The racers of
the after-guns had been out for their morning's exercise. Indeed the
saddles had only just been removed, and the noble animals were now enjoying
a good square meal of corn in their bombproof stable. Keep your animals in
good fettle, and they'll never shirk their work: that was always my motto,
and right well has it answered. The roaring furnaces, the cylindrical
boilers, the prisoned steam, the twin screws, the steel shot that crashes
like thunder, the fearful impact of the ram, the blanching terror of the
supreme moment, the shattered limbs and scattered heads,--all these were
ready, waiting but for the pressure of my finger on the middle button of
the boatswain's mess-waistcoat to speed forth upon their deadly work
between the illustrated covers of a shilling pamphlet.

CHAPTER IV.

In another moment the enemy's fleet had hove in sight. Our movements in the
ten minutes preceding the fatal conflict will be best understood by
consulting the annexed diagram:--

[Illustration]

We advanced in this imposing order for five minutes. Then came a puff of
smoke, and, in less time than it takes to tell it, two thousand men had
been literally blown into thin air, their sole remnant being the left shoe
of my trusty second in command, Captain GLIMDOWSE. I trained the two
turret-guns until I had got them into perfect condition, and gave the word.
The crash that followed was terrific. One of the massive missiles went
home, and stayed there, no amount of inducement availing to bring it out
again to face the battle. The other, however, behaved as a British missile
should, and exploded in the heart of the hostile fleet. The result was
terrific. French, German and Russian Admirals by the thousand were
destroyed, their scattered fragments literally darkening the face of the
sun, and a mixed shower of iron, steel, stanchions, bollards, monster guns,
Admirals, sailors, stewards, cocked-h