esults
might follow.

* * *

Sent for NORTHCLIFFE and told him that unless my articles are treated
with more respect I cannot go on and the War will be lost. He seemed to
be impressed, but you never know.

Lunched at Claridge's with Lady CUNARD, Lady DIANA MANNERS and GEORGE
ROBEY. We were all very witty.

In the afternoon saw ROBERTSON at the W.O. and told him of my dummy
soldier idea. He roared with delight.

* * *

Wrote one of my best articles, on the importance of either L. G.
learning French or CLEMENCEAU learning English. Very depressed all day;
have lost my appetite.

* * *

Dined at the Ritz. A large party, including Lady CUNARD and Lady DIANA
MANNERS. The Princess of X. was present and I found her intelligent.
Afterwards to Lady Y.'s for bridge. The cards were mad, but we had some
wonderful rubbers, the four best players in London being concerned.

* * *

Wrote one of my best articles, on the importance of eating and drinking
and being merry during great national crises. Urged among other things
the addition of restaurant cars to all trains, even those on the Tubes.
It is madness to encourage seriousness, as _The Times_ is doing.

* * *

My eating article not printed. Practice, however, is more than precept,
and I shall continue to do my bite.

(_To be continued._)

E. V. L.

Illustration: THE END OF AN IMPERFECT DAY.

"ONE OF THOSE TINS OF SALMON, PLEASE."

* * * * *

Another Sex-Problem.

"SALE OF LIVE AND DEAD FARM STOCK.
6 Steers in milk and in Calf."

_Local Paper._

* * * * *

"In the second part of the programme Miss ---- was associated with
Mr. ---- in 'It was a Lover and His Last.'"--_Australian Paper._

Let us hope she will remain so.

* * * * *

"Rejoicing in a measure of freedom after the harassing restrictions
of the war, Scotsmen are not eager to thrust their necks into the
nose again."--_Daily Paper._

They prefer, we imagine, to thrust the nose of the bottle into their
necks.

* * * * *

"Every British voter on the sea coast is at heart a sailor."--_Daily
Chronicle._

At heart, no doubt. But how many have found to their cost that it is in
fact another organ which affords the ultimate test of sailorship.

* * * * *

CHEC