r to lunch or dine at the
Ritz; or even Lord HALDANE. Once safely landed (my article goes on to
explain) he would make his way to German H. Q., being mistaken for the
real HINDENBURG, kill him and then issue orders to the Army which would
quickly put the Germans in our power. Strange that no one else has
thought of this.

* * *

It is very awkward to be the only man in London who has the truth in
him. Relieved some of my embarrassment by a glass or two of remarkable
1794 brandy.

* * *

WINSTON came to Carryon Hall to dine and we discussed his future. I
mapped out the next six months for him very carefully, and he promised
to follow my counsel; but I am afraid that Lady RANDOLPH may interfere.

* * *

My HINDENBURG article not in _The Times_ yet. Cannot think what is
coming to journalism. And NORTHCLIFFE calls himself a hustler.

Sent for the PRIME MINISTER and gave him a piece of my mind. He ought to
be more careful in future.

* * *

Lunched at the Carlton with GEORGE GRAVES and had some valuable War
talk.

In the afternoon to the Tribunal, where all excuses were disregarded and
everyone packed off to the recruiting officer.

In the evening to a first-class revue at the Palace.

* * *

Had gratifying visit from ANATOLE FRANCE'S friend, M. PUTOIS, who told
me that the French look to me as the only Englishman capable of winning
the War. My articles are read everywhere, and some have been set to
music.

* * *

More men must be obtained, and therefore wrote a capital article calling
on all criminals to cease their labours during the War, in order to
release the police for the army. After this effort, which was very
tiring, lunched at the Ritz with ETHEL LEVEY, LAVERY and SOVERAL. Some
good riddles were asked. A discussion followed on ladies' boots, and
whether toes should be pointed or square. From this we passed to
stockings and then to lingerie. Tore myself away to attend to my
Tribunal duties.

* * *

Met the GLOOMY DEAN in the Mall and walked with him to the Rag., where
he left me. A most diverting man. He told me a capital story about a
curate and an egg.

* * *

Finished a rattling good article on a way to make our army look more
impressive to the foe, namely by fitting each man with a dummy man on
either side of him. Bosch aeroplane observers would imagine then that we
were three times as strong as we are, and some very desirable r