messages, and here the messages are; and you needn't worry to read them
because they are dud."

The police had also got so unused to the truth from such quarters that
they were taken aback when they met it.

"And now have I your full confidence?" said he, and they said that he
might take it that he had. He then went back to the President.

"Good morning, Mr. President," said he. "I have given your messages to
the police and told them they are dud messages, so that now I have their
full confidence and can move about as I like. Give me the real messages
and I'll be getting on with my journey."

Throwing precaution to the winds, the President wrote out the real
messages in full and handed them to him.

"Come, come, come," said he, "you must be more careful than that," and
he told him what he ought to do to make sure. He did it.

My friend then proceeded to the frontier, where, by arrangement, he was
arrested. In the inside pocket of his inside coat a bundle of messages
were found. The police nodded at him.

"Yes," they said, "here are the messages all right. We don't know that
they help much, but we suppose that we mustn't blame you."

"Come, come, come," said my friend, "if you doubt me, search me." They
did so, and, written on linen and sewn into the lining of his coat, they
found some more messages, which really did help them. Yours ever, HENRY.

(_To be continued._)

* * * * *

Illustration: _Profiteer Host._ "I'M AFRAID WE'LL HAVE TO DRINK THE
FIZZ OUT OF PORT GLASSES."

_Profiteer Guest._ "OH, WE DON'T MIND ROUGHIN' IT; WE'RE ALL SPORTSMEN,
I TAKE IT."

* * * * *

RELATIVES WITHOUT ANTECEDENTS.

"YOUTHFUL HOSTESSES.--A few years ago when a bachelor entertained he
invited his aunt or his mother to act as hostess for him. Now he
asks his grand-daughter."--_Daily Paper._

* * * * *

"Ostensibly Lit was a move to check the ever-rising cost of living,
Land in a way not fully realised by the public Lit was a method of
riveting control on the industry."

_Evening Paper._

With money flung about like this the cost of living is bound to go up
again.

* * * * *

Illustration: SINISTER SIGNS FROM SOUTH KENSINGTON.

_Alarmed House Agent._ "MADAM, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PARTNER?"

_Client._ "I was just giving particulars of my flat, which I am anxious
t