not a beauty!" I said at last, and she stared for a
moment, and then laughed and said--

"Because of the terrible temptations which you escape? Dear little
innocent! Don't be too modest, however; you really have improved
marvellously these past few months. If you could hear what the men said
about you last night--"

"I don't want to hear, thank you," I returned icily; and that was one
temptation overcome, anyhow, for I just died to know every single
remark! It's awful to care so much about what people think about you,
as I do. After she went away I sat down and reviewed the situation, as
they say in books, and mapped out a plan of action. I wanted to feel
that I was doing some good to someone, so I decided then and there to be
a guardian angel to Will and Rachel. It's wonderful what you can do,
even if you are only nineteen and a girl, if you set your mind to it,
and determine to succeed. They have both been kind to me, and I am
their friend, and mean to help them. I'd rather be flayed alive than
say so to a living soul, but I can now confess to these pages that I was
jealous of Rachel myself when I first heard of the engagement, and I
wondered, if Will had never seen her, if perhaps he--oh, a lot of silly,
idiotic things; for he is so different from the other men you meet that
you simply can't help liking him. So now it will be a discipline for me
to have to forget myself, and try to keep them together. Perhaps when
they are married they will know all, and bless my memory, and call one
of their children after me, and I shall be content to witness their
happiness from afar. I've read of things like that, but I always
thought I'd be the married one, not the other. You do when you are
young, but it's awful what sorrows there are in the world. I am not
twenty yet, and already my life is blighted, and my fondest hopes laid
in the dust...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Such ripping fun! We are all going for a moonlight party up the river,
with hampers full of good things to eat at supper on the bank above the
lock. We are taking rugs to spread on the grass, and Japanese lanterns
to make it look festive, and not a single servant, so that we shall do
everything ourselves. We girls are all delighted, but I think the men--
Captain Grantly especially--think it's rather mad to go to so much
trouble when you might have your dinner comfortably at home. Male
creature