ons to myself, and
nobody took any notice of me, and I felt more cynical than ever, and
went to my bedroom and banged about the furniture to relieve my
feelings.

Vere came into my room soon after, and stood by the window talking while
I brushed my hair. The blind was up, for it was moonlight and I hate to
shut it out. Her dress was of some soft silvery stuff, and, standing
there in the pale blue light, she looked oh, so lovely, more like a
fairy than a human creature! I am so glad I admired her then; I'm glad
I told her that I did; I'm glad, glad, glad that I was nice and loving
as a sister ought to be, and that we kissed and put our arms round each
other when we said good night.

"Sleep well, little girl, you look tired. We can't let you lose your
bonny colour," she said, in her, pretty caressing way; nobody can be as
sweet as Vere when she likes.

I was tired, but I sat by the window for quite a long time after she
left, thinking, thinking, thinking. I can't tell what I thought
exactly, so many things passed through my head, and when I said my
prayers I hardly said any words at all; I just put down my head and
trusted God to understand me better than I did myself. I had so much to
make me happy, but I was not happy somehow. I had so much to make me
content, yet there was something missing that made everything else seem
blank. I wanted to be good, and such horrid, envious feelings rose up
in my heart. In my dear little room, at my own dear little table, I
asked God to help me, and to take care of me whatever happened.

And He did, but it was not in the way I expected.

At last the moon disappeared behind the clouds which had been gathering
for some time, and I went to bed and fell fast asleep as soon as my head
touched the pillow, as I always do, no matter how agitated I am. I
suppose it's being nineteen and in such good health. "How long I slept
I cannot tell," as they say in ghost stories, but suddenly I woke up
with a start and a sort of horrid feeling that something was wrong. The
room felt close and heavy, and there was a curious noise coming from
outside the door, a sort of buzzing, crackling noise. I didn't get up
at once, for I felt stupid and heavy; it was a minute or two before I
seemed really able to think, and then--oh, I shall never forget that
moment!--I knew what it was. I felt it! I went cold all over, and my
legs shook under me as I stepped on to the floor.

The air was thick, an