cs or commerce or stinks?
Inhale the Wisconsin aroma
Or think as the Humanist thinks?

Will you learn to play tennis from COVEY
Or model your stroke on JAY GOULD?
Will you play the piano like TOVEY
Or by gramophone records be schooled?
Will you golf, or will golfing be banished
To answer the needs of the plough,
And links from the landscape have vanished
To pasture the sheep and the cow?

Your taste in the region of letters
I only can dimly foresee,
But guess that from metrical fetters
The verse you'll affect must be free;
And I shan't be surprised or astounded
If your generation rebels
Against adulation unbounded
Of MASEFIELD and BENNETT and WELLS.

Upholding ancestral tradition
Your uncle has booked you at Lord's,
But I doubt if you'll sate your ambition
Athletic on well-levelled swards;
No, I rather opine that you'll follow
The lead that we owe to the WRIGHTS,
And soar like the eagle or swallow
On far and adventurous flights.

But no matter--in joy and affliction,
In seasons of failure or fame,
I cherish the certain conviction
You'll never dishonour your name;
For the love of the mother that bore you,
The life and the death of your sire
Will shine as a lantern before you,
To guide and exalt and inspire.

* * * * *

Life's Little Ironies.

"Ever-ready Safety Razor, strop, outfit, 12 blades, new; exchange
something useful."--_The Model Engineer and Electrician._

* * * * *

"The marriage of Captain ----, Grenadier Guards, to Miss ---- was a very
quiet affair, and not more than a score of people attended the ceremony
at St. Andrew's, Wells-street, during the week.--_Observer._

Quiet, perhaps, but unusually protracted.

* * * * *

How it Happened.

From a publisher's advt.:--

"NEW NOVELS
THE HISTORY OF AN ATTRACTION
HE LOOKED IN MY WINDOW."

* * * * *

Collectors of coincidences will not fail to notice that what the papers
call "The Great Allied Sweep" in France was contemporaneous with the
arrival of General SMUTS in England.

* * * * *

CHILDREN'S TALES FOR GROWN-UPS.

IV.

THE HUNGER-STRIKE.

"Did you hear that?" cried the white hen.

"What?" asked all the other hens.

"He called us--cluck