f the HINDENBURG line was more than two hundred
miles long and the Rrobert James McGrregor line less than two hundred
yards, still it didn't matter; for when a Scot takes a dislike to somebody,
that somebody's number is up.

McGregor didn't say that last, but he looked it.

Yours ever, HENRY.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _McTavish (purchasing paper of posterless newsboy)._ "AWEEL,
IT'S A 'PIG IN A POKE,' BUT AH'LL RISK IT."]

* * * * *

"Frightfulness" in England.

"Boys wanted for Kicking. ------ Stamping Works."--_Midland Evening News._

* * * * *

"'THE MAGIC FLUTE.'

One ingenious commentator has suggested that the opera has some basis
in 'A Midsummer Night's Dream.' Sarastro is Prospero, Pamina Miranda,
Tamino Ferdinand, and perhaps Monostatos Caliban."--_Glasgow Herald._

The fact that these Shakespeare characters all occur in "The Tempest"
enhances the ingenuity of the suggestion.

* * * * *

"The biggest fire in living memory occurred in Chapelhall on Monday
morning, when the Roman Catholic School was partly destroyed along with
the recreation rooms, damage amounting to L2,000."--_Scotch Local
Paper._

The parish pump was probably out of order when this unparalleled
conflagration occurred; but is seems to be at work again now.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "MOTHER, D'YOU KNOW I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT BECAME OF OLD
TOP-HATS."]

* * * * *

TO MY GODSON.

(_Aged six weeks._)

Small bundle, enveloped in laces,
For whom I stood sponsor last week,
When you slept, with the pinkest of faces,
And never emitted a squeak;
Though vain is the task of illuming
The Future's inscrutable scroll,
I cannot refrain from assuming
A semi-prophetical _role_,

I predict that in paths Montessorian
Your infantile steps will be led,
And with modes which are Phrygian and Dorian
Your musical appetite fed;
You'll be taught how to dance by a Russian,
"Eurhythmics" you'll learn from a Swiss,
How not to behave like a Prussian--
No teaching is needed for this!

Will you learn Esperanto at Eton?
Or, if Eton by then is suppressed,
Be sent to grow apples or wheat on
A ranche in the ultimate West?
Will you aim at a modern diploma
In civi