ou like him best of all in?"

"That's difficult. Of course he was priceless as the policeman. But then he
was priceless as the American too, in that thing before this."

"Well, I think--"

And so on. Except that I never mention his name, and I have suppressed the
titles of the plays, this is practically an exact reproduction of the
conversation. Naturally many of the sentences overlapped, for ladies no
less than gentlemen often talk at the same time; but otherwise I have
reported faithfully.

And who was the subject of these eulogies? You will guess at once when I
say that he is probably the only actor in history who is referred to more
often by his Christian name only than by his surname or full name. These
young women who adored WALLER spoke of him not as LEWIS, but as LEWIS
WALLER; and that is the usual custom. The divine SARAH is perhaps the only
other histrion, and she is a woman, who may be spoken of simply as SARAH,
with no risk of ambiguity. Ordinarily, as I say, we use either the surname
only or the surname and Christian name combined, as ELLEN TERRY, VIOLET
LORAINE, GEORGE GRAVES, GEORGE ROBEY, LESLIE HENSON, NELSON KEYS. But these
four devotees referred to their hero always as GERALD; just GERALD.

* * * * *

[Illustration: Mr. Punch's Navy Pages]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Gallant Major (temporarily in the care of H.M.'s Navy)._
"ANOTHER ONE OF THAT SORT AND--I SHALL DO AS I LIKE."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Survivor from U-Boat._ "KAMERAD! KAMERAD! IF I VOS ON LAND
I VOS HOLD UP MEIN HANDS!"

_Ordinary Seaman._ "WELL, YOUR FEET 'LL DO INSTEAD."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _A.B._ "GIVE US YER KNIFE." _Boy._ "AIN'T GOT IT."

_A.B. (with bitter scorn of non-essentials)._ "GOT YER WRIST-WATCH ALL
RIGHT, I S'POSE?"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Apollo._ "I NEVER SAID NOTHING TO 'ER--DID I?"

_Neptune._ "NO. BUT YOU WAS TRYIN' ON ONE OF YER FASCINATIN' LOOKS."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: ECHOES FROM JUTLAND.

_Wine Steward (acting as one of Ammunition Supply Party)._ "WILL YOU TAKE
LYDDITE OR SHRAPNEL, SIR?"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SNOOKER POOL AFLOAT.

_Commander (as the black he has tried to pot threatens to touch the port
cushion)._ "LIST HER TO STARBOARD