were a pepper-and-salt
formation. The leg on one side was rolled up. On one foot was a boot, on
the other a shoe. He wore a very dirty collar, which, on the laughing
side of his face was Byronic, and on the solemn side, uncompromisingly
erect. His hat was an antiquated shanghae--black on the crown and light
underneath the brim. If a noun, he was certainly a very uncommon, but
not strictly a proper noun. If a verb, he seemed to be passive. The
tense of his general appearance it would be difficult to determine.
Strictly, it was neither past nor present, nor was it in accordance with
my ideas of the future. To a certain extent it was all three. His seedy
exterior was the remains of the past, existing in the present, and
existing prospectively in the future. His mood was subjunctive, full of
doubt and uncertainty. Judging from his entire appearance, I could come
to no other conclusion as respects his character, than that he was a
combination of ups and downs, a concentration of small differences, a
specimen of non-committalism in everything except an entire abstinence
from water used as a means of purifying his body externally, and his
clothing. His red nose led me to suspect that he did not bathe with cold
water to an alarming extent inwardly. The individual was remarkable, not
for what he was, but for what he was not.

"Such were my thoughts, gentlemen, and I determined to awake the
unconscious sleeper, to see how far my conclusions were right. I shook
him well, and accompanied my act with a peremptory order to 'get up.'
After a moment he roused himself and looked at me, but immediately
dropped his eyes. I commenced a dialogue with him, which, as near as I
can recollect, was as follows:

"'What are you doing here?' said I.

"'Dun'no,' was the response.

"'You're certainly quite drunk.'

"'Likely.'

"'That is an offence against the law.'

"'Des'say.'

"'You've been arrested for drunkenness before.'

"'Werry like. But I 'aven't been a doin' nuthin' helse.'

"'But I've arrested you before,' said I, playing the policeman, in order
to continue the conversation.

"'Des'say, hofficer; but did I hoffer any resistance?'

"'Your weight did.'

"'Vas it wiolent?'

"'You were too drunk to make any violent resistance.'

"'Des'say; I honly inquired for hinformation.'

"'What's your name?'

"'Vich name do you vant to know?'

"'Your whole name, of course.'

"'Bobinger Thomas.'

"'Where were you born, Thomas?'