head of Van
Dam, tipped over the timid Boggs, and poured a lemonade down the throat
of Johnny Cake, that they would consent to hear what he desired to say.

"Gentlemen," said Quackenbush, "that's a remarkably fine story, isn't
it?"

"Des'say," said Spout.

"Werry like," responded Van Dam.

"Mebbee," replied Johnny Cake.

"Likely," remarked Boggs, as he picked himself up, preparatory to
letting himself down in three chairs.

Mr. Spout left his chair, and moved to that particular locality in the
apartment where the bell-pull, leading to the bar below, was situated.
He gave sundry pulls in accordance with the previously-arranged system
of telegraphing, and in a few minutes they were answered by a young
gentleman, with a tin waiter in his hands, on which were placed divers
decoctions, which stand in better repute outside of total abstinence
societies than inside. Each took his mixture until it came to Johnny
Cake, when the Higholdboy passed over to him a mild beverage, called a
port wine sangaree. Johnny refused to accept it, and announced that he
was strict in his adherence to principle--that he never indulged in
anything which could intoxicate. A lemonade he would indulge in
sometimes, but a port wine sangaree--never--_never_--NEVER.

When Johnny Cake had finished his indignant repudiation of the port wine
sangaree amid the cheering of his fellow members, Mr. James George Boggs
arose. He mounted a chair, and made an effort to speak. He was greeted
with loud applause.

As soon as these manifestations had subsided, he said:

"Fellow-citizens (applause); I may say that it is with feelings of the
most profound gratification (loud applause), that I meet, this evening,
the members of the illustrious Elephant Club (continued applause), of
which I am an unpretending and obscure member (renewed applause).
Gentlemen, I do not like to appear as an apologist, and much less an
apologist for my own shortcomings (loud and continued applause).
Gentlemen, I protest against your unwarranted interference when I am
trying to be funny (applause and cheers). I am a modest man, and I am
unwilling to stand here to be fooled with (enthusiastic applause); Mr.
Dropper, if you don't shut up your mouth, I'll knock your moustache down
your throat (tremendous applause). Mr. Spout, you are the Higholdboy of
this club, but I'll hit you with a brick if you don't keep better order.
(Cries of "Order!" "Order!") If you'll stop your blasted noise,