house with people, and
Brown, and only Brown, knows who they are, where they came from, or how
the deuce they got their invitations."

Dropper, still more bewildered, inquired who Brown was.

"Brown," explained John Spout, "is the Magnus Apollo of fashionable
society--he is the sexton of Graceless Chapel, and no one can be
decently married, or fashionably buried without his assistance. He has a
wedding face and a funeral face, but never forgets himself and cries
over the bride or laughs at the mourners; he is great as a sexton, but
it is only in his character of master of ceremonies at a party, that he
rises into positive sublimity--he is the consoler of aspiring
unfashionables, who have got plenty of money, and want to cut a swell,
but don't know how to begin. He is the furnisher of raw material on
short notice, for fashionable parties of all dimensions; his genius is
equal to any emergency, though, as the latest fashion is to invite three
times as many people as can get into the house at any one time, Brown is
often put to his trumps. Mrs. Codde Fishe last week wanted to give a
party, and, of course, called on Brown. Brown measured the parlors; they
would only hold 1728, even by putting the chairs down cellar, and
turning the piano up endways. Mrs. Codde Fishe was in despair. Mrs. P.
Nutt had received 1800 at her party the night before, and if she
couldn't have 2000 she would be ruined. Brown's genius saved her. 'Mrs.
F.,' said he, 'though we must invite 2000 people, and though we must
have 2000 people in the house, they need not be all there at one time,
and they need not all stay.'

"'Certainly not,' said Mrs. Fishe.

"'I'll manage it,' said the indefatigable Brown--and Brown did manage
it. He got 272 retail drygoods clerks, whom there didn't anybody know,
dressed them in white gloves and the required fixens, so they looked
almost as well as men. Well, sir, if you'll believe it, Brown had his
272 clerks arrive at the door, eleven at a time, in hired
hackney-coaches, announced them, by high-flown names, to the hostess,
had them march in single file through the parlors to the back door,
where he had a man waiting to conduct them over the garden-fence by a
step-ladder, and so get them out of the way to make room for more.

"Mrs. Lassiz Candee had but 1439 names on her list; she wanted 1800.
Brown was summoned. Brown heard the trouble. Brown produced from his
pocket a list of names twenty-one yards in length. For a