ble, and how they
could not have been more incongruously attired if they had been all
dressed in sheep's grey breeches and straw hats--to dilate upon the
disasters which befell the said wardrobe, how the tunics caught in the
wings, and the shoulder-cloaks got singed by the side-lights; how the
ladies' trains were in everybody's way, and their feathers in
everybody's eyes--how, in their confusion, when they painted their
faces, they put the wrong colors in the wrong places, and some of them
went on with white cheeks, chalked lips, and eyebrows colored a bright
vermilion--how the gilt crowns got bent and battered until they looked
like ancient milk-pans with the bottoms melted out--how the flannel
ermine on the regal calico robes got greasy, and looked like tripe--how
the wax pearls melted and the glass ones broke--how the "supes" painted
their whiskers uneven, and got their wigs on wrong side before--how some
of them couldn't get their armor on at all, but how one enterprising
individual, having succeeded to his satisfaction, came on to deliver a
message, with his sandals in his hand, his helmet on one foot, his
breast-plate on the other, and his leg-pieces strapped on his
shoulders--to tell how the _Ghost_ got chilly and played the last scene
in an overcoat, and proved that he was a substantial Native American
Ghost, by making two extemporaneous speeches, in excellent English, to
the audience--to do full justice to the miscellaneous assortment of
_legs_, then and there congregated, and relate how some were bow-legs,
and some were shingle-legs, some were broomstick-legs, some were wiry
legs, and some were shoulder-of-mutton legs--to give an accurate
relation of the various expedients resorted to, to remedy the most
noticeable defects in those legs, and state that some were padded on the
sides, and some at the ankles, and how, in not a few instances, the
padding slipped away from its original position, thereby putting the
calves on the shins, and causing the knees to resemble deformed
india-rubber foot-balls--and to give a reliable history of the
unheard-of antics indulged in by the said fantastic legs, after their
symmetry had been perfected by the means just written--how some went
crooked, some sideways, and some wouldn't go at all; how some minced
with short steps, like a racking pony, and others stepped along as if
they had seven-league boots on; how some moved with convulsive hitches,
as if they were clockwork legs, a