been
limited to my services in getting the port decanter round its circuit.
It was I who, when one evening we were doing this alone, led up to the
subject.

"Sir Reginald," said I.

He passed the port again, hoping thus to damp down my conversational
powers. I, hoping to stimulate them, helped myself.

"Well, what do you want now, my boy?" he asked reluctantly, noting my
unsatisfied air.

"I'll tell you what I should like, Sir," said I, "and that's a
father-in-law. Would you care for the job?"

Not, I think, entirely with a view to what he himself was likely to get
out of this suggestion, he asked me outright what I was worth. "I don't
think," he suggested, "that I could very well let my Phyllis marry
anyone with less than five hundred a year, eh?"

I got out paper and pencil, puckered up my brow, and worked out a sum.
"I am happy to announce," I said eventually, "that we may put my income
on the other side of that figure."

To show my _bona fides_, I set out my sum:--

MY INCOME ('14 to '15): L
(1) _Fees._ (To estimate this item it is necessary to take actual
figures of last three years, which show an annual
increase at the rate of about 33%. The '13 to '14
figure is 203 guineas; add 33% and you get total
for '14 to '15, 284 pounds, say 300
(2) Add annual value of professional premises, which is 50
(3) _Occasional literature._ This is practically a regular
stipend, at the fixed figure of (_circa_) L40. But
a happy marriage should promote inspiration.
Allowing for same, put this figure at, say. 51
(4) Interest on Investments, say 100
-----
Grand Total. (E. & O. E.) L501
=====

These, however, were not the figures I quoted to Charles Dugmore, A.T.

There was no port about him, and still less did he wait for me to
introduce the subject. He sent me a sharp note and gave me twenty-one
days to answer, in default of which he said he would have the law on me.
Still, there is a certain rough kindness even about your Assessor of
Taxes; this one enclosed a slip of paper, which he hoped I wouldn't
read, but which, when I did read it, suggested to me my