eassuring to learn that a new
comestible, palatable and nutritious, yet entirely free from the
drawbacks of all flesh foods, has been invented by a German scientist
and will shortly be put upon the market at a price which will bring it
within the reach of the humblest household.

Professor Schafskopf, the inventor, has long been engaged on experiments
with a view to the production of synthetic mutton, and his diligent
efforts have now been crowned with success. The basis of the new food is
compressed peat, which is so permeated with a variety of nutritive
juices, applied at high pressure by a grouting machine, as to be
practically indistinguishable from the best Southdown mutton.

By way of putting his discovery to the test Professor Schafskopf
entertained a number of distinguished guests at the Fitz Hotel last
week, and with hardly an exception they were astonished at the succulent
and sumptuous flavour of the new food, which is called by the attractive
name of "Supermut."

Professor Bino Byles, interviewed at the close of the banquet, said that
"Supermut" was a distinct success. It had all the digestibility of tripe
with an added aroma of Harris Tweed.

Mr. Gullick, the famous motorist, said that "Supermut" reminded him of
the best cormorant. He believed that it could also be used for making
unpuncturable tyres.

Lord Findhorn, the eminent Scots Judge, said that "Supermut" had
converted him to carnivorous food, though he was an hereditary
vegetarian.

Finally we note that _The Forceps_ in a laudatory article pays a
handsome tribute to the new food, and says, "It must be conceded that a
very reliable substitute for mutton has at length been produced. We
found it hard to distinguish it from a saddle."

* * * * *

A MAY PICNIC.

Someone has settled (it's not my fault;
And, whatever we do, let's take some salt)--
Someone has settled, don't you see,
Without referring the thing to me,
That this is a day to be bright and hearty,
And to take our lunch as a picnic party--
To take our lunch with toil and care
Away from home in the open air.

Now I maintain that it can't be right,
When there isn't a single wasp in sight,
To have mint-sauce and a joint of lamb,
Some currant cake and a pot of jam,
A gooseberry tart, with sugar and cream,
And some salad dressing, a bottled dream--
All the things that a wasp loves best
When he buzzes away from his hidd