* * * * *

"Mr. Palmer would still deserve to be crowned with unfading
laurels."--_Times._

Palmer _qui meruit ferat_.

* * * * *

Latest Cannibal News.

"Djaraboub ordinarily contains only 350 inhabitants but these
are swollen by pilgrims."

_Siam Observer._

* * * * *

[Illustration: _First Jack Tar Abroad_ (_to second, very "busy
riding"_). "'Ulloa, Bill; looks like yer workin' yer passage."

_Bill._ "Yuss; 'ad bloomin' rough weather, too; but it's all right if ye
'old on to this 'ere forestay."]

* * * * *

VERY MUCH GREATER LONDON.

[_One result of the introduction of the Bachelet flying train should
certainly be the extension of London's suburbs. We extract the following
from a season-ticket holder's diary of the near future._]

_Dundee._--Strap-hung again to-day; London train abominably crowded.
That is the worst of living in these inner suburbs. Men who live on the
other side of the Orkney Tunnel tell me the train only begins seriously
to fill up at Caithness; before that, one has reasonable hope of a seat.
Brown, for instance, says that, coming up from Kirkwall and entering
train before pressure begins, he rarely has to use strap. Don't know how
the poor wretches at Newcastle and Durham ever get to town at all,
though, living so close to King's Cross, they can perhaps afford to
stand for the few minutes they are in train....

No change for better, so have been studying agents' lists; some items
attractive. For example:--

_Belgian Tunnel Line._--Antwerp and Liverpool Street in 29 minutes; low
season-ticket rates; excellent mid-day service, enabling business men to
take luncheon at home.

_Charming Maisonettes_ in fine healthy suburb, S.W. London (Penzance
district); bath h. and c.; Company's water; two minutes Bachelet
Railway-station; 25 minutes Paddington and City.

_Sunny Cairo, S.E._--Nice self-contained flats; charming desert view;
low rents; ninety-five minutes Charing Cross; five minutes Sahara golf
links (inland course but real sand bunkers).

_Week-End Cottage for Harassed City Worker, Siberia (near London_).--To
be let furnished; bracing air; perfect quiet.

* * * * *

SYNTHETIC MUTTON.

In view of the impending scarcity of meat, so vividly foreshadowed in a
recent article in _The Times_, it is most r