ped at
scratch ever thought of such a thing.

"Very well," I said. "Just wrap it up for me, and I'll----"

"Hadn't we better send it for you," he suggested, "in one of our vans,
in charge of our own men?"

"Just so," I agreed. "Good morning."

The piano duly arrived, and when we had taken the drawing-room door out
of its socket and demolished a large portion of two walls, they got it
in--just in. With care I can squeeze into the room. However, I am happy,
though crowded, for I have achieved my heart's desire.

It has been with me a year now. I must soon think of learning to play
it.

* * * * *

THE PARAFFIN HABIT.

[Illustration: (_Doctors generally are prescribing refined paraffin for
various ailments._)

_Mistress._ "The oil finished again, Mary? it seems to go very quickly."

_Cook._ "It's the Master, Mum. Whenever 'e runs out of 'is 'refined' 'e
comes a-dipping into this 'ere."]

* * * * *

The New Dramatist.

From "Books Received" in _The Daily Chronicle_:--

"Misalliance, The Dark Lady of the Sonnets and Fanny's First
Play; with a Treatise on Parents and Children, by Bernard
Constable, 6s."

* * * * *

"Ouimet was born at Brookline.... As his name rather suggests,
his parents were French Canadians, who moved to Brookline from
Montreal."--_Pall Mall Gazette._

It seems a great deal for the name to suggest.

* * * * *

AT THE PLAY.

"The Great Gamble."

A man who elopes with his friend's wife cannot fairly expect to command
general sympathy when, sooner or later, he has to pay the claims of
offended morality. Yet one could not help being a little sorry for
_Colonel Herrick_, the leading delinquent in Mr. Jerome's play. For
scarcely had they started for the Continent from Charing Cross (to be
precise, the train was passing through Chislehurst) when the lady
suddenly repented of her rash act and burst into unassuageable tears.
If, on reaching Dover, he had had the happy thought of despatching her
back to her home as unaccompanied baggage, he would have saved himself a
vast deal of trouble. But, being a soldier, he set his teeth and went
forward, and for eight days she made the hotels of Europe ring with her
lamentations. Nor was this his only source of discomfort. Though, for
convenience, they appeared in the visitors' books as man and wife, th