, we
can well defend ourselves, by justly alleging that when they were
uppermost, they treated our dogs full as inhumanly: As to my own part,
who have in former times often attended these processions, although I
can very well distinguish between a Whig and Tory dog, yet I never
carried my resentments very far upon a party principle, except it were
against certain malicious dogs, who most discovered their malice against
us in the _worst of times_.[176] And, I remember too well, that in the
wicked ministry of the Earl of Oxford, a large mastiff of our party
being unmercifully cossed, ran, without thinking, between my legs, as I
was coming up Fishamble Street; and, as I am of low stature, with very
short legs, bore me riding backwards down the hill, for above two
hundred yards: And, although I made use of his tail for a bridle,
holding it fast with both my hands, and clung my legs as close to his
sides as I could, yet we both came down together into the middle of the
kennel; where after rolling three or four times over each other, I got
up with much ado, amid the shouts and huzzas of a thousand malicious
Jacobites: I cannot, indeed, but gratefully acknowledge, that for this
and many other services and sufferings, I have been since more than
over-paid.

This adventure may, perhaps, have put me out of love with the diversions
of cossing, which I confess myself an enemy to, unless we could always
be sure of distinguishing Tory dogs; whereof great numbers have since
been so prudent, as entirely to change their principles, and are now
justly esteemed the best worriers of their former friends.

I am assured, and partly know, that all the chimney-sweepers' boys,
where Members of Parliament chiefly lodge, are hired by our enemies to
skulk in the tops of chimneys, with their heads no higher than will just
permit them to look round; and at the usual hours when members are going
to the House, if they see a coach stand near the lodging of any loyal
member, they call "Coach, coach," as loud as they can bawl, just at the
instant when the footman begins to give the same call. And this is
chiefly done on those days, when any point of importance is to be
debated. This practice may be of very dangerous consequence. For, these
boys are all hired by enemies to the government; and thus, by the
absence of a few members for a few minutes, a question may be carried
against the true interest of the kingdom, and very probably, not without
any eye