ut, if married, I would leave two-thirds
of their fortunes for the support of their families; which families
would cheerfully consent to give away the remaining third, if not more,
to be freed from such peevish and disagreeable governors.

So that, deducting from the two hundred thousand incurables the forty
thousand scribblers, who to be sure would be found in very bad
circumstances; I believe, among the remaining hundred and sixty thousand
fools, knaves, and coxcombs, so many would be found of large estates and
easy fortunes, as would at least produce two hundred thousand pounds
_per annum_.

As a further addition to our endowment, I would have a tax upon all
inscriptions and tombstones, monuments and obelisks, erected to the
honour of the dead, or on porticoes and trophies, to the honour of the
living; because these will naturally and properly come under the article
of lies, pride, vanity, &c.

And if all inscriptions throughout this kingdom were impartially
examined, in order to tax those which should appear demonstrably false
or flattering, I am convinced that not one-fifth part of the number
would, after such a scrutiny, escape exempted.

Many an ambitious turbulent spirit would then be found, belied with the
opposite title of "lover of his country"; and many a Middlesex justice,
as improperly described, "sleeping in hope of salvation."

Many an usurer, discredited by the appellations of "honest and frugal";
and many a lawyer, with the character of conscientious and "equitable."

Many a British statesman and general, decaying, with more honour than
they lived; and their dusts distinguished with a better reputation than
when they were animated.

Many dull parsons, improperly styled eloquent; and as many stupid
physicians, improperly styled learned.

Yet, notwithstanding the extensiveness of a tax upon such monumental
impositions, I will count only upon twenty thousand, at five pounds
_per annum_ each, which will amount to one hundred thousand pounds
annually.

To these annuities, I would also request the Parliament of this nation
to allow the benefit of two lotteries yearly; by which the hospital
would gain two hundred thousand pounds clear. Nor can such a request
seem any way extraordinary, since it would be appropriated to the
benefit of fools and knaves, which is the sole cause of granting one for
this present year.

In the last place, I would add the estate of Richard Norton, Esq.;[180]
and, to do