se
a wish that these execrable denominations were a little better suited to
an English mouth, if it were only for the sake of the English lawyers;
who, in trials upon appeals to the House of Lords, find so much
difficulty in repeating the names, that, if the plaintiff or defendant
were by, they would never be able to discover which were their own
lands. But, besides this, I would desire, not only that the appellations
of what they call _town-lands_ were changed, but likewise of larger
districts, and several towns, and some counties; and particularly the
seats of country-gentlemen, leaving an _alias_ to solve all difficulties
in point of law. But I would by no means trust these alterations to the
owners themselves; who, as they are generally no great clerks, so they
seem to have no large vocabulary about them, nor to be well skilled in
prosody. The utmost extent of their genius lies in naming their country
habitation by a hill, a mount, a brook, a burrow, a castle, a bawn, a
ford, and the like ingenious conceits. Yet these are exceeded by others,
whereof some have contrived anagramatical appellations, from half their
own and their wives' names joined together: others only from the lady;
as, for instance, a person whose wife's name was Elizabeth, calls his
seat by the name of _Bess-borow_. There is likewise a famous town, where
the worst iron in the kingdom is made, and it is called _Swandlingbar_:
the original of which name I shall explain, lest the antiquaries of
future ages might be at a loss to derive it. It was a most witty conceit
of four gentlemen, who ruined themselves with this iron project. _Sw._
stands for _Swift_,[193] _And_, for _Sanders_, _Ling_ for _Davling_ and
_Bar._ for _Barry_. Methinks I see the four loggerheads sitting in
consult, like _Smectymnuus_, each gravely contributing a part of his own
name, to make up one for their place in the ironwork; and could wish
they had been hanged, as well as undone, for their wit. But I was most
pleased with the denomination of a town-land, which I lately saw in an
advertisement of Pue's paper: "This is to give notice, that the lands of
_Douras, alias_ WHIG-_borough_," &c. Now, this zealous proprietor,
having a mind to record his principles in religion or loyalty to future
ages, within five miles round him, for want of other merit, thought fit
to make use of this expedient: wherein he seems to mistake his account;
for this distinguishing term, whig, had a most infamou