the
designs, which our common enemy had then in agitation, yet, I know not
how, by a secret impulse, young as I was, I could not forbear conceiving
a strong dislike against the fellow; and often said to myself, "This cry
seems to be forged in the Jesuits' school. Alas, poor England! I am
grievously mistaken if there be not some Popish Plot at the bottom." I
communicated my thoughts to an intimate friend, who reproached me with
being too visionary in my speculations: But, it proved afterwards, that
I conjectured right. And I have often since reflected, that if the
wicked faction could have procured only a thousand men, of as strong
lungs as the fellow I mentioned, none can tell how terrible the
consequences might have been, not only to these two Kingdoms, but over
all Europe, by selling Flanders to France. And yet these cries continue
unpunished, both in London and Dublin, although I confess, not with
equal vehemency or loudness, because the reason for contriving this
desperate plot, is, to our great felicity, wholly ceased.

It is well known, that the majority of the British House of Commons in
the last years of Queen Anne's reign, were in their hearts directly
opposite to the Earl of Oxford's pernicious measures; which put him
under the necessity of bribing them with salaries. Whereupon he had
again recourse to his old politics. And accordingly, his emissaries were
very busy in employing certain artful women of no good life or
conversation, (as it was fully proved before Justice Peyton) to cry that
vegetable commonly called celery, through the town. These women differed
from the common criers of that herb, by some private mark which I could
never learn; but the matter was notorious enough, and sufficiently
talked of, and about the same period was the cry of celery brought over
into this kingdom. But since there is not at this present, the least
occasion to suspect the loyalty of our criers upon that article, I am
content that it may still be tolerated.

I shall mention but one cry more, which hath any reference to politics;
but is indeed, of all others the most insolent, as well as treasonable,
under our present happy Establishment. I mean that of turnups; not of
turnips, according to the best orthography, but absolutely turnups.
Although this cry be of an older date than some of the preceding
enormities, for it began soon after the Revolution; yet was it never
known to arrive at so great a height, as during the Earl