rd for their labours.

It gives me, I own, a great degree of happiness, to reflect, that
although in this short treatise the characters of many thousands are
contained, among the vast variety of incurables; yet, not any one person
is likely to be offended; because, it is natural to apply ridiculous
characters to all the world, except ourselves. And I dare be bold to
say, that the most incurable fool, knave, scold, coxcomb, scribbler, or
liar, in this whole nation, will sooner enumerate the circle of their
acquaintance as addicted to those distempers, than once imagine
_themselves_ any way qualified for such an hospital.

I hope, indeed, that our wise legislature will take this project into
their serious consideration; and promote an endowment, which will be of
such eminent service to multitudes of his Majesty's unprofitable
subjects, and may in time be of use to _themselves_ and their posterity.

* * * * *

From my Garret in Moorfields, Aug. 20, 1733.

TO THE HONOURABLE

HOUSE OF COMMONS, &c.

_The Humble Petition of the Footmen in and about the City of Dublin._

NOTE.

Swift may have written the following mock petition by way of satire
against the many absurd petitions which were presented at the time
to the Irish House of Commons, and of which two examples were
quoted in the note to a previous tract. If coal-porters and
hackney-coachmen might address the Honourable House, why not
footmen?

* * * * *

The present text is based on that found at the end of Swift's
"Serious and Useful Scheme to make an Hospital for Incurables,"
issued by George Faulkner in 1733. Faulkner reprinted this volume
in 1734.

[T. S.]

TO THE HONOURABLE HOUSE OF COMMONS, &c.

_The Humble Petition of the Footmen in and about the City of Dublin._

_Humbly Sheweth_,

That your Petitioners are a great and numerous society, endowed with
several privileges, time out of mind.

That certain lewd, idle, and disorderly persons, for several months
past, as it is notoriously known, have been daily seen in the public
walks of this City, habited sometimes in green coats, and sometimes in
laced, with long oaken cudgels in their hands, and without swords, in
hopes to procure favour, by that advantage, with a great number of
ladies who frequent those walks, pretending and giving themselves out to