ht be enumerated, who keep open
shop to make a trade of iniquity; who teach the law to wink whenever
power or profit appears in her way; and contrive to grow rich by the
vice, the contention, or the follies of mankind; and who, nevertheless,
instead of being branded with the harsh-sounding names of knaves,
pilferers, or public oppressors, (as they justly merit,) are only
distinguished by the title of justices of the peace; in which single
term, all those several appellations are generally thought to be
implied.

But to proceed. When first I determined to prepare this Scheme for the
use and inspection of the public, I intended to examine one whole ward
in this city, that my computation of the number of incurable scolds
might be more perfect and exact. But I found it impossible to finish my
progress through more than one street.

I made my first application to a wealthy citizen in Cornhill,
common-council-man for his ward; to whom I hinted, that if he knew e'er
an incurable scold in the neighbourhood, I had some hope to provide for
her in such a manner, as to hinder her from being further troublesome.
He referred me with great delight to his next-door friend; yet whispered
me, that, with much greater ease and pleasure, he could furnish me out
of his own family ----; and begged the preference.

His next-door friend owned readily that his wife's qualifications were
not misrepresented, and that he would cheerfully contribute to promote
so useful a scheme; but positively asserted, that it would be of small
service to rid the neighbourhood of one woman, while such multitudes
would remain all equally insupportable.

By which circumstance I conjectured, that the quantity of these
incurables in London, Westminster, and Southwark, would be very
considerable; and that a generous contribution might reasonably be
expected for such an hospital as I am recommending.

Besides, the number of these female incurables would probably be very
much increased by additional quantities of old maids; who, being wearied
with concealing their ill-humour for one-half of their lives, are
impatient to give it full vent in the other. For old maids, like old
thin-bodied wines, instead of growing more agreeable by years, are
observed, for the most part, to become intolerably sharp, sour, and
useless.

Under this denomination also, we may expect to be furnished with as
large a collection of old bachelors, especially those who have estates,
and but