The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102,
March 19, 1892, by Various

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net

Title: Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 19, 1892

Author: Various

Release Date: December 16, 2004 [EBook #14365]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***

Produced by Malcolm Farmer, William Flis, and the PG Online
Distributed Proofreading Team

PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 102.

March 19, 1892.

"ARE YOU HANSARD NOW?"

_MERCHANT OF VENICE._

["The entire stock of _Hansard's Parliamentary Debates_ ...
was offered for sale. The vast collection, nearly 100,000
volumes, scarcely fetched the price of waste paper."--_Daily
Paper_.]

The Auctioneer exclaimed,--"These Vols.
Have neither fault nor blot.
I think that I, without demur,
May call them quite 'a lot.'

"Speeches by RUSSELL, PAM, and BRIGHT,
Good for the heart and head.
Take them as spoken; if you like,
Pray take them, too, as read."

But when the Auction did begin,
Bidders, alack! were lacking;
Back numbers hove in sight in shoals,
Yet seemed to have no backing.

"Then this," quoth he, "appears to be
The dismal situation;
Though from these speeches statesmen quote,
For them there's no quotation.

"The eye has 'heavenly rhetoric,'
Hear WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE cry;
But heavenly rhetoric now, 'tis plain,
Itself is all my eye.

"A penny! Really such a bid
I can't allow to pass;
A man who'd offer coppers here
Must be composed of brass.

"'Progress' I cannot well 'report,'
Unless this lot is bought in;
The only progress seems to be,
When there'll be no reportin'.

"Such priceless gems, such wretched bids!"
The hammer-man did shout;
"If you desire, I knock them down--
You first must knock _me_ out!

"No higher offer? Then I'm forced,
Pray pardon the suggestion--
To take a hint from Parliament,
And 'move the Previous Question.'"

* * * * *

ANOTHER SHAKSPEARE!

[Illustration: Mysterious!]

The last play by M. BLAGU