vity,
merely remarking pleasantly, as an item of general interest, "The only
time my partner ever leads a trump is when the adversaries call." I
smiled inanely--what else could I do? for I was dimly conscious that
the stricture might have justification in fact. Yes, this was bad; but
worse remains behind. In the last hand of the next rubber, my partner
had four trumps; so had I; he had, besides a very long suit; hence he
extracted the trumps, and we were left with the last two between us,
mine being the better. I got the lead, of course, exactly at the time
I did not want it; although everyone else knew where the smaller trump
was, I did not, so I drew it from my partner's hand, and then led him
a card of which he had none in the suit; this card, as ill-luck would
have it, belonged to an enormously long suit, of which one of the
adversaries had entire control. So this gentleman got in and made
about six tricks in it, finishing up with the two; he therefore
made with his spades all--indeed, I rather think more tricks than
the Colonel ought to have made in his diamonds, each of which, now
losing cards, he successively banged down with increasing anger and
turbulence of gesture, as the enormity of my crime was borne in upon
him. It was the deciding game of a rubber; the adversaries' score had
stood at one, while we were at two, and besides, we had had two by
honours; as they made four by cards, they went out--and so did I--not
without an _obbligato_ accompaniment on muted strings; unwhispered
whispers of "confounded blockhead!" "blundering idiot!" "well, of all
the born fools!" and similar objurgations.

When I came to think the matter over in cold blood, I could see
that my proper course would have been to lead the losing card before
drawing my partner's trump. I merely made a mistake (a fatal one I
grant) in the order of playing them. That was all.

* * * * *

My friend goes on to make learned remarks about "American leads," "the
fourth best," and the difficulties of playing a knave; lead him at
once, _I_ think, on _Dogberry's_ principle: and "thank heaven you are
rid of a knave."

The depths of my guilt may be guessed from the fact that many of my
Mentor's explanations are Hittite to me. People talking of laying up
a wretched old age by not playing, I should be laying it up for other
people if I did play much. Half-crown points, a partner who knows how
to score (those counters and can