Admiralty."

Before the two Ministers could recover from their surprise, the wearer
of the convict's garb had also divested himself of a part of his
costume, and the whole of his "make-up."

"You see you need not be ashamed of my company," he observed, with a
smile, "as I am the Home-Secretary."

Then the three Ministers laughed, and each one of them insisted that
his particular branch of the Government Service was better than the
branches of his colleagues.

"Let us change costumes," suggested the Home-Secretary, "and try for
ourselves. I will become a soldier, you can appear as a convict, and
subsequently we might make a further alteration, and allow our friend
of the Admiralty to try some oakum-picking." But both the First Lord
and the Secretary of State raised objections.

"And yet," urged the Home-Secretary, "I do not think you would find
much difference between oakum-picking and sentry-go, and a plank-bed
and a hammock on board a torpedo-boat have each great claim to points
of similarity."

"We readily believe you," replied the representative of the War
Office, "and therefore further test is unnecessary."

"Quite so," added the greatest living authority on Naval matters; "and
thus I think we can conveniently leave further personal investigation
to such enthusiasts as Mr. RITCHIE and his Private Secretary." And
so, perfectly satisfied with the result of their peregrinations,
the Ministers again bade one another adieu, and, this time, finally
separated.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE PITFALLS OF CULTURE.

_Friendly and Sympathetic Footman_. "WELL, THEY TELL ME, SIR, AS
MR. BROWN, THE DENTIST ROUND THE CORNER, IS QUITE AT THE 'EAD OF THE
PERFESSION,--IN FACT, WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL '_PRINCIPLY FORCEPS_,' SIR!"

[_No doubt the good man intended to say "Facile princeps," but he
didn't._]]

* * * * *

A GREAT LOSS TO EVERYBODY.--It is a great source of disappointment to
_Mr. Punch_ that GRANDOLPH should have declined to be an Alderman.
It may be a question as to whether he would have enlarged the sphere
of his influence, but, by accepting the turtle, it is aldermanically
certain that within six months our GRANDOLPH would have doubled his
weight and increased his circumference.

* * * * *

"HAIR-CUTTING, SINGEING, AND SHAMPOOING."

(_A SKETCH IN A HAIR-DRESSER'S SALOON._)

SCENE--_A small but well-appoint