d a fortune of
L28,000 to L7,000. This means a wretched pittance to beneficiaries
who, before your fraud, were enjoying a fairly decent income. I am
aware that you are a distinguished Magistrate,--that you have belonged
to many Clubs,--that there is not a slur upon the cooking that used to
distinguish your dinner-parties. I know the severity of the sentence I
am about to pass, and I wish my conscience would permit me to give you
a lighter punishment. But I cannot."

The accused was then sentenced to five years' penal servitude.

A little later another prisoner was put in the dock for stealing
twenty shillings. The prisoner (who was a sailor) was sentenced to ten
years' penal servitude, and seven years' police supervision. The case
was of no public interest.

* * * * *

THE MODESTY OF GENIUS.

When TRAILL his list of Minor Poets drew,
SPRUGGE's friends exclaimed, "Why, SPRUGGE, he's left out you!"

To which SPRUGGE calmly answered, "Yes, I know it;
And he is right. I'm not a Minor Poet."

* * * * *

[Illustration]

FROM AN IRISH REPORTER IN A TROUBLED DISTRICT.--"The Police patrolled
the street all night, but for all that there was no disturbance."

* * * * *

NEW SONG OF TRIUMPH FOR SALVATIONISTS AT EASTBOURNE, ACCOMPANIED BY
DRUM AND IRRELIGIOUS CYMBALS.--"_Tra-la-la-Booth-te-ray_!"

* * * * *

DEMEANING THEMSELVES so!--Mrs. R. cannot understand our aristocracy
being constantly Chairmen at public dinners. _She_ wouldn't be a
Chairwoman for anything.

* * * * *

WHERE "GHOSTS" OUGHT TO EXIST.--"_Haunt 'un_ Street, W." It's an
artistic quarter. [Is this Hornton Street? Possibly.--ED.]

* * * * *

PEOPLE WHO WOULD BE ALL THE BETTER FOR BECOMING TEMPERANCE MEN.--"The
Lushais."

* * * * *

[Illustration: "DIVIDED DUTY."

_Right Hon. the Minister for War_. "SURELY, MY LORD CHANCELLOR, YOU
CAN EXEMPT HIM FROM JURIES. THE 'REGULARS'--"

_Lord Chancellor_. "WELL, NO, MR. STANHOPE, I THINK NOT." (_Aside._)
"WE _MUST_ MAKE _SOME_ USE OF HIM!"]

* * * * *

LIVING AND LEARNING.

MISS SYMPEL, who has never been out of London, saw an advertisement
headed "Salmon Flies" in a shop window. "Well!" she exclaimed, "I
never knew till now that Salmon was a