over?"

"First thing in the morning!" I says, relieved to think of a quiet day
ahead. Ain't it grand to have work you love to do? It's so restful!

VI

THE GLAD HAND

I

I SEE a piece in the paper where that ex-leading headliner of the old
German Big-Time Circuit, William Hohenzollern, him that used to appear
in the spiritualistic act known as "Me and God," claims he had no hand
in starting those fireworks in Europe which has recently ended in a
Fourth of July celebration. And although myself a good American and
looking with doubt upon any statement known to be German, I am sort of
inclined to believe him. At any rate, to believe that he was not the
whole cheese in the matter, but only a sort of limp limberger, or swiss,
and full of holes. Because it's my experience personally myself, that a
strong personality with a clean-cut idea can usually get a thing done if
they elect theirself boss and stick on the job until it is finished, but
if they call a committee meeting and discuss the action before them,
the whole idea is likely to get stalled. Why, look at Congress! Not that
I, being a mere lady of the female sect, know why or how they get
stalled, or on just what. But it's a cinch they do and are, and you can
prove it by any editorial page in the country. And it seems that Billy
the Bone-head, confessed to the reporter, which managed to get this
Sunday story printed, that a committee meeting of Yonkers or something
was called about the war, he, Bill the Badman, not having the bean to go
to it alone, and it was them ruined the war, or so he says. Which goes
to show that not alone in the theatrical and moving-picture worlds do
the heads of departments alibi their flivvers, but also in the
King-business, and it's a habit which may even yet ruin the former, as
it pretty near has the latter, unless they quit shirking and deliver
better goods. Because if the Head Has-Been had had any real thinker and
had thought up the war all by his little self and forced it on his
book-keeper, cashier and so forth, he might of got away with it like
Napoleon and Rockefeller and Eva Tanguay and a lot of them which has
thrust riches and success upon theirselves.

But no committee can ever do that sort of thing. It takes a
single-handed personality, and I guess mabe the biggest bluff Germany
has had to confess to is her ex-leader. He seems the A-1 example of how
true it is that well-known tailors' ad, "Clothes make the man." Al