"I'm not going to be dependent on you
no longer," she says, "nor a burden in my old age," she says. "And now
that you got Jim back I shall only be in the way, so good-by, Gawd bless
you!"

"Why, Ma Gilligan!" I yells, jumping to my feet. "How you talk! Besides
what on earth do you think you could do?"

"Oh, I got a job," she flashes, proudly. "I'm going back to the circus!"

Believe you me, that pretty near had me floored.

"The circus!" I says. "What nonsense! Why a trapezer has to be half your
age to say nothing of weight!"

"I'm not going on no trapeze at my years!" says Ma. "I'm going back as
Fat Lady. One hundred a week and expenses!"

All of a sudden I realized the full meaning of them doughnuts and cocoa
and etc she had eat these past months. She had been deliberately
training and as usual was successful. I sprung to my feet and hung
around Ma's neck like a ten-year-old.

"Oh Ma!" I says. "Don't! Please don't go back! Whatever would we do
without you?" I says. And Jim added his entreaties.

"Why, Ma Gilligan, what bally rot!" he says, which it's quite noticeable
the amount of English he's picked up over there. "What a silly ass you
are, old dear!" he says. "Here we are going to California and who would
cook for us if not you?" he says, "with the cook-question like it is out
there?"

Well, that weakened Ma considerable, for cooking is her middle name. So
she set down the suit-case.

"Ma!" I begged her. "We _couldn't_ have too much of you, and you would
never be in the way or a burden no matter what the scales say. For
heaven's sake take off that hat, it's too young for you, and burden us
with the first home cooking Jim has had in two years!"

Well, she give in at that, and sat down the snake and her dolman and
pocket-book.

"Well, all right then!" she says. "I'll stay!" Which is about all the
emotion Ma ever shows. "Whew, but it's hot in here!" she says and turns
to open the window and we left her do it, because we seen she didn't
want us to notice her tears. And as she opened it she gives a shriek and
leans way over, grabbing at something. And hardly had she yelled than
from below come a holler and a flow of language the like of which I had
never heard, no, not even at the studio when something went wrong! Then
Ma commenced to laugh something hysterical and pulled herself back in
through the window and leaned against the side of it, hollering her head
off.

"What is it?" I says.

"It's Maude!"