its mind one way or
another, and I was just going to leave when the bell rung and Ma come in
to say it was a caller.

"It's that Mr. Mulvaney from the Welcome Home Committee, the one that
had you on the 'phone yesterday," says Ma. And after a minute I kind of
caught control of myself and says well, all right, I would see him and
went in.

Well, it sure is strange the birds they pick out for these deeds of
synthetic patriotism. This one come from the neighborhood of Fourteenth
Street and must of got his appointment of chief welcomer from the way he
give the glad hand. You would of thought he was cranking a flivver that
wouldn't crank the way he kept on shaking after any real need was past.
And if he was to of greeted each of the boys the way he done me, the
army wouldn't be demobilized in our generation! Also he had a suit on
him which spoke for itself and a watch-chain which must of posed for
them in the cartoons of Capital--do you get me? Sure! I and he had had a
long talk on the telephone as per above, and so as soon as he left go
his cinch on my hand, he got right down to business.

"Now, Miss La Tour--er--it--er--gives me great pleasure to think you
will take charge of the Theatrical Women's Division," he says. "Er--I am
a great admirer of yours--that picture you done, 'Cleopatria,'
now--great stuff!"

Well, I let that pass, because how would such a self important bird as
this know my art when he sees it, and if he enjoyed Theda, why not leave
him be? I changed the subject at once for fear he would be confusing me
with Caruso next.

"And so I'm to spend ten thousand of the hundred thousand iron-men
raised by the Welcome Committee?" I says hastily. "How nice. What will
it go for?"

"That is for you and your committee to decide," he says. "I'm sure you
will think up something tasty," he says. "And go to the limit--we need
ideas."

Well, anybody could see that. But I only says all right.

"I suppose you are familiar with committees?" says this human
editorial-page-sketch.

"I'm never too familiar with anybody," I says stiffly. "But I have been
acquainted with more than one committee."

"Well, here are the papers I promised you--the general scheme and so
forth. The central committee will meet as is indicated here. See you at
them. Pleased to of seen you off the screen! You certainly was fine in
'Shoulder Arms'!"

And before I could get my breath he had looked at a handsome watch no
bigger than a orange,